I think I’ve lived up to the challenge Rachel at Writer’s Platform—Building Campaigners gave. The rules are:
Write a short story or flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall.” These five words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
- End the story with the words: “everything faded.” (also included in the word count)
- Include the word “orange” in the story
- Write in the same genre you normally write
- Make your story 200 words exactly!
And you all thought I was kidding when I told you I had aspirations of being a magician, an international spy, or a mad scientist. Here’s the story as told by my 10-year-old self:
Shadows crept across the wall of the garage, dance-like, as the orange flames licked up the curtained window. “Oh crap, I’m in so much trouble!” I shouted grabbing the fabric, to yank it from the rod and stomp the flames out on the cement floor.
“It would have been so much smarter to stick with a stink bomb,” I scolded myself. “There’s never been a hitch with a putrified egg stored in a Nestle Quick box; at least nothing more than an assaulted sense of smell when the hydrogen sulfide stink invades the air.”
Ignoring the “parental supervision” suggestion, I decided to make this year’s science fair volcano on my own. I’d worked with vinegar and baking soda in the past, but this year I wanted a ribbon—a blue ribbon.
Having made a test-run volcano from paper mache, I decided to use yeast combined with hydrogen peroxide for a larger explosion. Pleased, but not completely satisfied, I added the element of fire. “Yowza!” I thought as I smelled my past-tense eyebrows!
While stomping the flames in my new Keds, I heard the wail of sirens coming up the street, and then overcome with smoke, everything faded.
———————————————————————————————
What was your favorite science fair project?
© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com
Uh oh, I hope they’re okay! Great take on the challenge 🙂
I’m entry #19
Jessica – I thought your story was gripping and just voted for you 🙂
Love this Laurie! So cute, so right!
Jeff – Thank you!
**grin** Oh Laurie, what a cute 10 year old you were! And how you succeeded in your flash fiction. Good job. My favorite science fair project? Hmmmm….can’t remember a single one…which may be why I liked writing instead.
Kathy – Your comment about not remembering a single science fair project because writing took precedence, made me grin!
Oh so good…….and is oh so true?
I would mostly guess yes…..
Kim – There’s an awful lot of truth in fiction 🙂
In the words of the bard, Rod Stewart, “Every picture tells a story, don’t it?”. The Moody Blues called it, ” The Story in Your Eyes.”. What I’m seeing in the eyes of this 10 year old enchantress ( one who can convince with a glance that nothing but pure innocence is at home in her mind), as opposed to a magician, would be the imagination and derring-do of a female Tom Sawyer, willing to risk the consequences just to discover what will “happen next”. It might be wise to seek shelter but not too far away, you wouldn’t want to miss the action! Incoming! Duck!
Sandi – You know me oh-too-well 🙂
I love this story. Congratulations! I may have to try flash fiction sometime. Never have.
Hugs,
Kathy
Kathryn – This was my first go at flash fiction and I had a blast writing it! Thank you for stopping by.
Then, I’m REALLY impressed!
Kathryn – Thank you 🙂
Grand work of “show don’t tell”! You still have that mishchiveous smile and glint in your eyes… it’s your “Orange Flame” glowing personality! Good luck!
Sheila – Thank you for stopping in today. With that red hair of yours, I have the sneaking suspicion you have a wee bit of experience with shenanigans yourself 🙂
Yup, you were an imp all right! Great story!
Like Kathy, I can’t remember a favorite science fair project… But I really enjoyed a science class assignment of collecting as many different kinds of leaves as we could and identifying the trees they came from. It was fun having my father drive me around town looking for even more after I had exhausted the possible finds around our house…
Barbara – I’m glad you enjoyed the story, thank you. The leaf-identification assignment sounds like it was fun!
That is hilarious! The things we do for that blue ribbon!
J.A. Bennett – I’m glad you visited, thank you for leaving a comment. I just tried to find your name in the entry list on Rachel’s site but didn’t see it. Did you enter? If yes, what number is your entry, I’d like to read your story.
yes, I’m #99 🙂 And I should also tell you I don’t blog at wordpress, sometimes it shows up, but my real blog is at ja-bennett.com
J.A. Bennett – I loved your story. Glad you stopped by to read mine, thank you.
Oh, I can really see a kid trying this! I love this story!
My friend and I had an award winning science project on photography. No volcanoes for me, just developing fluid! Fortunately, there were no flames!
BTW, thanks for the plug, Laurie! 🙂 I loved the pic of your ten-year old self. Reminded me of ME at that age. Mom insisted on Pixie Cuts too, which I detested because I thought it made my cheeks look fat, so in my fifth grade school picture I sucked in my cheeks, thinking that would compensate. Boy, was I WRONG! lol
Mywithershins – It was my pleasure to give you a shout out. Let me assure you that the world is a much better place without my discovery of developing fluid!
Unfortunately, it takes hindsight to discover that sucking in one’s cheeks with a pixie cut is clearly a mistake. You may have noticed that I gave a wee bit of an extra trim (crooked, to boot!) to my bangs. My mother was less than pleased…
At least it wasn’t you eyelashes, like my daughter did to hers! lol
Mywithershins – Oh dear…
Laurie – Even at 10 you were a fun, witty writer! I definitely didn’t write like…but we did have the same haircut! Never tried flash fiction…may have to visit & give it a whirl. Let’s see my favorite science fair project..The Washing Machine…I really had no idea how a washing machine worked…but I got to use my Barbies as the mom’s washing all the clothes and hang my barbie clothes with little bitty clothes pins!
Chris – The washing machine — oh how fun! My friends Sally and Susan had Barbies so I remember the itty-bitty clothes pins you’re talking about. They were plastic, came in a variety of bright colors, and they were the type you had to pinch to open.
I had a Chatty Cathy doll. Curious to know how she talked, I did a wee bit of surgery. First I scalped her — that yielded knowledge on why here eyes were open when she was upright, and closed when she laid down. Nice to know, but how did she talk? Unfortunately, that required a stem-to-stern incision. I can tell you I learned a lot that day as I received “the board of education on the seat of knowledge” when my parents discovered what I’d done 🙂
Love your sense of humor… even at 10yrs. The description of the project was so real …like it happened yesterday.
Savira – I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
I loved this!! This was so cute! 🙂 Hope their okay!
I’m #37 🙂
Alyssa – GREAT prison story — just voted for you now 🙂
Your ten year old self and my once upon a time 10 year old son would have gotten along just fine! Oh the memories, and how we survived them. Very enjoyable to read.
siv maria – I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Your observation, “…and how we survived them” made me smile 🙂
Hi Laurie,
Wow, that was brilliant how you managed to write your story according to the rules, Well Done, I loved it. 😀
Magsx2 – I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for swinging by!
Congratulations, Laurie! What a wondeful, relatable story brilliantly told. And I’m so glad your eyebrows grew back. : )
Leanne – Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed it (I’m glad my eyebrows grew back, too)…
Oh boy! Nice use of the senses. Good imagery. Nicely done!
#96
Nancy – I loved your story as well. Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Sweet and sentimental – love the picture 🙂
Ann – I’m still fanning myself after reading your story — hula burgers 🙂
Oh dear. You sounded like one rambunctious and intelligent 10-year-old! 🙂 Did you get a blue ribbon eventually?
J.C. Martin – I never won first place, but I did take second on two separate occasions 🙂
Great stuff Laurie!
Naturally my favourite science project was distillation.
Distillation of oil that is… whatever were you thinking?
Kevin – You crack me up! Thank you for your visit 🙂
lol. You crack me up! Great job!
RaeAnn – I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for stopping by.
Ms. Laurie Buchanan,
that was so nice of you to think and write about kids!!! After reading all dreadful suspense filled stories, this is awesome!! Liked it!! Thank you!!
Another Author
Abhishek – It was a pleasure to read your story as well. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment 🙂
Great! Lovely story really!
Teeceecounsel – I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for stopping by.
You are always welcome! I also appreciate your consistent ‘likes’ whenever you stop by at mine. It’s encouraging!
LOL! True story??? So fun and great pic! 😀
Morgan – It’s amazing how much truth there is in fiction 🙂
I enjoyed this…never dared to try my hand at these projects as I smartly foresaw the after effects. Made my smiles for the day.
Rek – I’m glad it made you smile. Thank you for stopping by.
A lovely piece of writing and obviously straight from your heart – well done.
Sally – Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
I think you did a great job of telling the story as a ten-year-old – a nice light touch. Is it true? If so, I’m glad you lived to tell the tale! We don’t have science fairs where I come from, but anything I made would have been equally disastrous!
Nick – It’s amazing how much truth there is in fiction 🙂 Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Really interesting story. I love reading about other girls who weren’t afraid to get their hands a bit dirty and live dangerously, instead of having tea parties and playing with dolls all the time. It sounds almost like something my best friend and I might’ve done at that age, except for the fact that I’ve had pyrophobia my whole life.
I vaguely remember some of my science projects, and that one of mine that won an honorable mention was really mostly created by my parents. My favorite science project I remember from grade school was from a girl who titled hers “Dumb Blondes: Rumor or Reality?” She was herself a blonde, and she concluded it was reality! The teacher and her father actually got into a fight over her project.
Carrie-Anne – The street I grew up on had lots of boys and we all played together–rough and tumble–and enjoyed many Tom Sawyerish adventures. I’ve never been afraid to get my hands dirty. They say “you eat a ton of dirt before you die,” my growing-up theory was you might as well get a jump-start on it! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
I’m late getting over here Laurie, as this has been a hectic week, trying to ready the house fopr Sunday’s Oscar party, while attending a Manhattan film festival at breakneck speed.
I am off from school this week, but I will now immediately go into grading mode, applying an A + for this 10 year-old perspective. You are presently in fifth grade and you are sitting at the head of the class. But this hardly comes as any kind of a surprise. Your exceeding wit and charm ever-present in this burst of descriptive writing does bring a smile to my face.
Science project? I remember putting together an elaborate solar system back in the fifth grade. Seems to have done well enough as I recall.
Sam – Oh how fun to get a grade from a real live teacher — I love it! The other thing I loved was watching the video clip of you and Dennis yesterday over at Wonders in the Dark. That was great!
*Funny – really enjoyed this! It brings to mind shenanigans with my sister involving candle-making with Crayolas on the stove. Resulted in the pan catching fire and a spanking before being sent to bed. Great job!
Dawn – That’s funny! I can remember shredding crayons (like grated cheese) with my trusty Swiss Army knife and then “sprinkling” it over the lightbulb on my bedroom lamp. Having melted crayons in a pan, you remember the odor? A dead giveaway to any and all parents within the surrounding zip code!
I love your take on this! Great job! 🙂
C.B. Wentworth – I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for stopping by.
I love how much you ‘show’ us in just a few words. Great job! Nice to meet another Laurie 🙂
Laurie – I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for stopping by, it’s always nice to meet another Laurie 🙂
What a cute story! The challenge cues totally make it easier to write a grim story so I am happy to read one so vivid and fun. I like the addition of the mischievous photo as well!
Colleen – I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
What a fun story that really touches on a child’s experience! We have motivation, conflict, and characterization all right here! Good luck!
Cynthia #124 on the Linky Links
Cynthia – Thank you for stopping in today and leaving a comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
I remember that moment when I knew I was in trouble 🙂 I like it.
I’m #114 (thanks for visiting mine and commenting already) 🙂
Kary – We all dread those all too familiar “uh-oh” moments. Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment.
Oh sht – that was too funny – perfect – got a good laugh
Sue – I’m glad it made you laugh. Thank you for coming by and leaving a comment.
LOL. past-tense eyebrows. That was great, but I have to say, all the smells going on made my nose crinkle! lol.
Ashley – The sense of smell is very powerful, better to read about an unpleasant odor than to experience it 🙂
So fun and creative! love this.
Liza – I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Cute! Nice voice for this age.
Alexia – Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Hi Laurie
We never had “science fairs”.
So I tried the writing challenge:
“Shadows crept across the wall of his mind.
He was conscious of the fact that all of his world was second hand. Not the world itself, but mere images, approximations, shadows of the reality itself.
He knew consciously that the reality of his experience was just a model of the real thing, created by his brain, that amazing machine inside his head, itself created by billions of years of trial and error through evolutionary history, with all existing life being the current survivors of the trials of existence.
His mind returned to his perceptions, to colours. He was conscious that his experience of colour was just that, his and his alone, yet this experience of orange was his reality, his world, his model of whatever it was that actually made up this matrix of his existence.
His mind raced.
The infinite recursive waves of the infinite oceans of possibility stretched beyond the limits of his imagination, yet his imagination raced to see what was just over the horizon, and always, more horizon.
Infinity was like that, horizons forever more, in every direction, in every dimension one looks.
He was tiring now, his mind, had given of its all, everything faded.”
Ted – CLEARLY you NEED to WRITE A BOOK!
Haha, really loved this!
Caitlin – I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
I would definitely want to read more adventures from this spunky character!
#160
Jonesingafter40 – I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment.
This is so entertaining and I love how you included a picture with it! 🙂 I’m #61.
Christy – I enjoyed your story as well. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Yep that kid would be in some serious trouble> Great original take. Mine is #71
Bridgeetstraub – I liked the knocking over a lit candle and walking away, in your story. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
I never did a science fair project. In fact, most projects happened the morning of when I found out from my friends (who had been working on theirs for weeks) that they existed. It’s amazing I lived this long. Ironic that now I am a teacher. 🙂
Anyhow, great flash fiction. I love that the fear of punishment was bigger than the fear of death. 🙂
Erin – Teachers are some of the most important people in the world. My fifth grade teacher — Mrs. Kline — made a huge positive influence in my life! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
A slice of life. Very nice.
Traci – Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Your welcome. It was a joy to read.
Loved it Laurie, you’re writing is “spot on” in sooooooooooo many ways!!
Alison – I’m so glad you enjoyed it, thank you for letting me know.
Back again to tell you you are on the short list for finalists at this stage (stage 2). Winners will be announced in stage 4. 🙂
Erin – Oh how fun, thank you for letting me know. What are my next steps?
I believe you just sit tight while the judges make their way through the finalists to narrow down further. I’ll let you know when I know more.
Erin – Thank you!
Awesome story. I loved volcano projects, but I stuck to vinegar and baking soda.
I’m glad I stopped by. Have a great week.
Medela – I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
What a cutie you were at 10….you can see your developing beauty already 🙂 And yes, you’ve done a whopper of a job with the flash fiction challenge!
Winsomebella – I’m glad you enjoyed the story, it was fun to write!
Wow. It’s well written!
7theaven – Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Hahaha. Kids always get themselves into such messes! Loved this entry.
I’m #149.
Melissa – Thank you for stopping by. I just left a comment over on your story 🙂
I hope the kid survived the ordeal! Excellent story!
C.M. Brown – Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. The kid was me, and she sure did 🙂
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Very good, Laurie! Even though I was expecting the ending, I didn’t expect that one!
Tom – Thank you 🙂
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