Establishing Boundaries

When I visited the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) temple and gardens in Cardiff by the Sea, CA,  I appreciated the fence—boundary—installed between the gardens and the cliff.

Due to erosion, it’s imperative to keep visitors from stepping too far forward, which many people want to do because of the stunning photo opportunity.

When it comes to human beings, there are many types of boundaries: personal, professional, relational, social, ethical, etc. 

Boundaries are internal and external lines that we draw. They delineate where our — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — space ends, and where another’s may begin. Boundaries establish what’s okay and what’s not okay. They help us:

  • Stand up for ourselves
  • Keep us from doing things we shouldn’t
  • Protect and take care of ourselves

Boundaries are not separation, they’re not division. Boundaries are respect for ourselves and others.

As I tell my clients, establishing boundaries is one thing, but it’s not enough. To be effective, they must also be maintained. 

Are your boundaries in good condition? Are they effective? Click To Tweet

Are your boundaries in good condition—are they effective?

© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com

Breathe

Boatloads of exciting behind-the-scenes things are taking place as we—publisher, publicist, and author—ramp up for the November 1 release of Note to Self: A Seven-Step Path for Gratitude and Growth. It’s exhilarating. One might even say, breathless.

With this in mind, Crystal—my publicist at BookSparks—sent me a visible reminder to breathe. In turn, I’m sharing a breathing exercise from Note to Self that has never failed to produce calm for me:

4-7-8 BREATHING

  • Place a hand on your lower belly to ensure that you’re breathing past your chest.
  • Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose while mentally counting to 4.
  • Hold that breath for a mental count of 7.
  • Exhale slowly through your mouth while mentally counting to 8. Notice that the exhalation is twice as long as the inhalation.
  • Pause briefly, without inhaling, and then start another round. This natural pause is therapeutic and relaxing.
  • Once you’ve established a rhythm, identify a replacement attitude. Imagine that with each inhalation, you’re breathing in the color orange and the feeling of that new attitude—increasing joy.
  • When you exhale, imagine that you’re releasing the toxins associated with the unwanted emotion—offloading baggage.
  • Repeat for several minutes, drawing the orange breath and replacement feeling down into your lower belly to anchor the new feeling.

When was the last time you focused on your breath?

© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com