From Me and Mine
To You and Yours
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These are four areas that Len and I decluttered so we can live abundantly:
1. OUR PURSUITS
We identified three opportunities that genuinely light us up — that align with our values and strengths — and let go of the rest.
2. OUR RELATIONSHIPS
We took an in-depth look at relationships that we want to nurture, including boundaries we set where needed, and habits of engagement that we continue to develop (i.e., listening, appreciating, helping) — and let go of the rest.
3. OUR THOUGHTS
We realized that the person we speak with the most is ourself. With that in mind, we make a practice of listening to our internal monologue, then ask ourselves: “Is it true? Is it logical? Is it helpful?” When we come across thoughts that aren’t positive, uplifting, constructive, or healing, we pluck them out like weeds. They don’t have a place in our internal garden.
4. OUR STUFF
We eliminated things that aren’t must-haves so that we can enjoy what we truly find pleasure in. I love how Seth Godin puts it:
“The frenzied search for more is a distraction and a place to hide, all in one. Pick the right stones and cherish them as you turn them over. That’s enough.”
Do you resonate with any of the four declutter areas listed in this post?
Category: Food for Thought
When I visited the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) temple and gardens in Cardiff by the Sea, CA, I appreciated the fence—boundary—installed between the gardens and the cliff.
Due to erosion, it’s imperative to keep visitors from stepping too far forward, which many people want to do because of the stunning photo opportunity.
When it comes to human beings, there are many types of boundaries: personal, professional, relational, social, ethical, etc.
Boundaries are internal and external lines that we draw. They delineate where our — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — space ends, and where another’s may begin. Boundaries establish what’s okay and what’s not okay. They help us:
Boundaries are not separation, they’re not division. Boundaries
As I tell my clients, establishing boundaries is one thing, but it’s not enough. To be effective, they must also be maintained.Are your boundaries in good condition? Are they effective? Click To Tweet
Are your boundaries in good condition—are they effective?
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Doing online research, I found, “Though it’s recognized as a significant cultural and commercial celebration in many regions around the world, it’s not a public holiday in any country.” It went on to say, “In the United States it is a festival of romantic love and many people give cards, letters, flowers, or presents to their spouse or partner.”
The guy in the photo? That’s Len. He’s my sweetheart; the guy I’m still head over heels in love with after almost thirty-eight years of marriage. We’ve been through ups and downs, thick and thin, better and worse, sickness and health, joy and sorrow… many of the contrasts that relationships can experience, and we’re still going strong.
A few years ago I posted the ingredients for our long-term success. They bear repeating:
What’s your favorite relationship ingredient?
Have you fallen in love with yourself yet? I don’t mean like Narcissus in Greek mythology. Rather, love in the sense of full acceptance and appreciation of who you are.
It’s my perspective that the most important relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourself. By loving and caring for ourself, we’re able to give our best to others. That’s why I carefully tend my inner-landscape; why I nurture my inner-ecology.
Gardening from the inside out — a few of my tips:
How do you tend your inner garden?
Last week, at her request, I called a potential new client. Questions in hand, I was ready to see if we would mesh in a coaching relationship. Within minutes I discovered that this woman has a short—very short—time to live. The coaching experience I offer is typically nine months in length, so where did I fit in?
Beyond humbling, she shared with me that knowing in advance her approximate date of death has been a tremendous blessing in that she’s completely prepared—except for one thing. Taped to a framed photograph on her nightstand is a clipping from a long-ago magazine article I wrote:
Like the path we walk, giving and receiving forgiveness is a fundamental part of life’s journey. Reminiscent of falling leaves, offenses may scatter the pathway of our heart—the seat of our outlook. This attitude determines the terrain of our path and forgiveness keeps the pathway clear.
It is my perspective that the place to start—the place to launch joy, hope, positive aspirations, and healing begins with forgiveness. Until that bit of housekeeping has been taken care of, everything else is futile.
Since that initial call we’ve had two more conversations. Neither one of us is charging a fee, but you can well imagine that I’m receiving much more than she is. I’m learning how to die.
Do you need to give or receive forgiveness, or are you all set?