We Eloped 40 Years Ago

Len and I eloped on St. Patrick’s Day forty years ago. My parents were less than thrilled, but they soon discovered that he’s a terrific guy and ended up loving him as much as they loved me. 

People often ask us the recipe for our success. The secret is in the way we express our love. Here’s a list of our favorite ingredients:

  • Mutual respect
  • Intentional kindness
  • Active listening
  • Forgiveness
  • Quality individual time, balanced with quality together time
  • Personal hobbies, balanced with mutual interests
  • Laughter. Definitely laughter!

What’s your favorite relationship ingredient?

© lauriebuchanan.com

Worn Spots

One of our daily walks includes the Baybrook Court Bridge that gets us from the north side of the Boise River to the south side, with ease. We never fail to stop, rest our foot on the railing, and take several minutes to appreciate the river as it meanders along, often carrying ducks and geese, and in the summer, rafts of people enjoying themselves.

You can tell from the worn spots in the paint that the bridge is well-loved. I hope that by the time I reach my expiration date I have lots of “worn spots” too. To me, it seems like a grand way of measuring one’s “loved-ness.”

“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in your joints and are very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” —The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

How do you measure love?

© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com

Things I Want To Tell My Mom

The calendar indicates that the 25th anniversary of my mom’s death is approaching. So many changes have taken place in that span of time. Every day I think of things I want to tell my mom:

Four Generations: mom (left), maternal grandma (middle), me (right), my son (middle)

FOUR GENERATIONS: my mom (left), my maternal grandmother (middle), me (right), my son (middle)

  • I miss you. Deeply.
  • Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.
  • I’ve written a book that’s coming out in November. I think you’d be tickled pink!
  • At 58, it’s hard for me to fathom that I’ve surpassed your lifespan by 5 years. I’m still galled that you died at the age of 53. I hate cancer!
  • I love you more than tongue can tell.
  • I’m a better person because of your example.
  • Thank you for instilling in me the love of reading.
  • And while I can’t possibly begin to know the anguish I put you through when I ran away from home at the age of 15, I want you to know that I’ve leveraged that experience and turned it into positives.
  • You were right, Len is a “keeper.” We celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary last month.
  • You’d have a blast with a cell phone—especially the FaceTime feature!
  • Your grandchildren have grown into wonderful adults.
  • Every now and then when I look in the mirror I see a glimpse of you in my features and I smile. I’m extremely proud that you’re my mom.

What would you like to tell your mom?

© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com

Bookends for Love

I recently shared with my friend Sandi that I view faith and hope as bookends—standing sentinel—on each side of love. In my experience:

Faith has a track record — it’s associated with something (person, place, thing, event, or opportunity) that we have confidence in; something we have reason to believe will come through for us.

Hope is brand new — somewhat like 2014, it hasn’t established a track record yet; it’s unfamiliar. Having no  previous experience with it, we hope everything is going to turn out all right.

Love outweighs everything else — a powerful ally in any situation, bar none.

© Laurie Buchanan 2014

What is your greatest hope for this newly minted year?

Laurie Buchanan

Whatever you are not changing, you are  choosing.” — Laurie Buchanan

The Book — Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience — Life Harmony

© Laurie Buchanan 2014

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence
Find me on Facebook

Wind Beneath Your Wings

It’s no secret that Len has a mistress—flying.

A private pilot, his heart accelerates when he hears the drone of an engine in the sky. We recently went to Brodhead, WI to attend the Pietenpol/Hatz Fly-In—a precursor to the famous annual EAA Fly-In that’s hosted in Oshkosh, WI.

1920 Travel Air bi-plane — click image to enlarge

After 33 years of marriage there’s still nothing that makes me happier than seeing his kid-in-a-candy-store, split-faced grin!

2012 Zodiac 601-CH — click on image to enlarge

How does a small plane achieve liftoff, let alone a ginormous commercial plane with all that weight: passengers, baggage, and fuel? Len can explain it—with enthusiasm—in a New York minute!

Hatz CB-1 — click on image to enlarge

I don’t understand the mechanics behind flying, but what I do know is that he makes my heart soar—he’s the wind beneath my wings.

Who or what is the wind beneath your wings?

Laurie Buchanan

Whatever you are not changing, you are  choosing.” — Laurie Buchanan

The Book — Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience — Life Harmony

© 2013 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence
Find me on Facebook

Heart-Based Elder Care

Self-Portrait - Laurie and Dad

Self-Portrait - Laurie and Dad

That’s a picture of me and my dad. I’m currently visiting him in Encinitas, California (Dec 16 – Jan 1). One of the many purposes of my visit is to research local options for all levels of elder care.

But not just any elder care. I want my dad to be on the receiving end of heart-based elder care if and when he needs it; heart-based elder care with a holistic approach. In other words, people who have his best interest—body, mind, and spirit—at heart.

While here, my goal is to help my dad understand that there are many ways to approach optimal rest-of-life wellness, stress, pain management, and comfort. My desire with the research findings I present, is for him to make informed decisions as he crosses various bridges associated with the ageing process.

My objective during this visit is to maximize his self-confidence and independence, and to help him integrate complementary and traditional approaches in an effort for him to reach and maintain a state of balance.

In addition to working with healthcare and associated insurance benefits, we’re working on financial and legal aspects. Hands-on we’ve been doing lots of breathwork, cranial therapy, and reflexology. I think he’s actually having fun—at least I hope so.

In a recent email discussion about elder care with my friend Barbara K. she said:

“I have witnessed so many people headed for the 20-year chronic disease and disability in retirement sentence. I have listened to that lesson and, like you, practice good eating, exercise regularly, watching that cholesterol level, and working this brain on both sides. The women in my family live into their 90s and I can either do that vertically and independently, or horizontally and dependently. Genetics pretty much determines how long we live. Lifestyle determines how well we live.”

George Burns, the comedien who lived to be 100, is famous for saying: “If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.”

Leaving you with that wonderful food for thought, please know that my next post won’t be until I return home on January 2, 2011.

Happy New Year to You and Yours!

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
               – Laurie Buchanan

www.HolEssence.com.

© 2010 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved