Establishing Boundaries

When I visited the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) temple and gardens in Cardiff by the Sea, CA,  I appreciated the fence—boundary—installed between the gardens and the cliff.

Due to erosion, it’s imperative to keep visitors from stepping too far forward, which many people want to do because of the stunning photo opportunity.

When it comes to human beings, there are many types of boundaries: personal, professional, relational, social, ethical, etc. 

Boundaries are internal and external lines that we draw. They delineate where our — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — space ends, and where another’s may begin. Boundaries establish what’s okay and what’s not okay. They help us:

  • Stand up for ourselves
  • Keep us from doing things we shouldn’t
  • Protect and take care of ourselves

Boundaries are not separation, they’re not division. Boundaries are respect for ourselves and others.

As I tell my clients, establishing boundaries is one thing, but it’s not enough. To be effective, they must also be maintained. 

Are your boundaries in good condition? Are they effective? Click To Tweet

Are your boundaries in good condition—are they effective?

© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com

Drawing Personal Lines

On a recent walk I came across an intricate, wrought iron gate. Curiosity piqued, I couldn’t help but wonder why there’s a gate with no fence.

Whatever the property owner is hoping to secure seems lost on the fact that anyone can simply walk around it. To my way of thinking, a gate without a fence isn’t an effective boundary.

IMG_5414

When it comes to people, there are many types of boundaries: personal, professional, relational, social, ethical, etc. Boundaries are internal and external personal lines that we draw. They delineate where our — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — space ends, and where another’s may begin. They help us:

  • Stand up for ourselves
  • Keep us from doing things we shouldn’t
  • Protect and take care of ourselves

However, there are times when the absence of boundaries is commendable. Here are a few examples: Art without Borders, Doctors Without Borders, and Teachers Without Borders.

Do you have any boundaries that need shoring up? Click To Tweet

Do you have any boundaries that need shoring up?

© TuesdaysWithLaurie.com

Captain Kirk — Shields Up!

Each year at this time I trim our rose canes back to half their length. Typically I wear gloves when I tackle this task — except this year. By letting my guard down, I got a tear in my thumb. After cleaning it up, I put a Band-Aid on it. Unfortunately, it hindered my typing.

That’s when I discovered New-Skin Liquid Bandage. It goes on clear and forms a protective shield — a waterproof barrier that provides me with unencumbered, full use of my thumb!

Liquid Bandage

It brought to mind Captain Kirk ordering Shields Up! as the Starship Enterprise braced itself for a fiery blast from the Klingons.

“This is the Captain. Condition Yellow Alert. Phaser crews stand by. Deflector shields up. We’re going in. Peacefully, I hope. But peacefully or not, we’re going in.”

In life we have visible and invisible barriers and boundaries — protective shields — that safeguard our physical and emotional wellbeing.

Have you ever let your guard down?

Laurie Buchanan

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.” — Laurie Buchanan

The Book — Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience — Life Harmony

© Laurie Buchanan 2014

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