It’s rare for me to despise something. That’s a strong word, a strong feeling—contempt, deep repugnance. But it bubbles to the surface when I encounter indifference, a complete lack of interest, concern, or sympathy for anyone or anything.
In researching why I feel this way when I encounter it, I came across many quotes, one of which I share here. No wonder it raises my hackles.
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference. ” —Elie Wiesel
Does anything raise your hackles to the point of contempt or deep repugnance?
© lauriebuchanan.com
Tuesdays with Laurie 
Oh my, Laurie, you are one brave lady asking this! I can imagine the responses you may get.
Currently, listening to all of the absolute rubbish spoken by some politicians in Australian gets my hackles up! They say they are concerned about the well-being of people during Covid, but everyone knows they are motivated by a political agenda. It’s so darned annoying!
Joanne — As my dad would have said, “That’s a real pisser!”
People who seem to think they have been born superior to others and refuse to look at things from anybody else’s perspective, because only theirs matters. Yes, I agree you’re very brave asking this. Thanks, Laurie.
I feel the same way as Olganm and my misfortune I live with a couple of people like that.
Roamer — I’m so sorry to hear that.
Exactly what Olganm says. They refuse to even listen, which really gets my hackles up. You don’t have to agree, but please just listen.
LoisaJay — Yes, please just LISTEN. I agree.
Olga — Oh, yes. People with a superiority complex are Grade A stinkers!
Like you Laurie indifference can get me going, as can exploitation, unfairness.
What I usually try and counter that tendency to despise with, is to try an imagine me having had the life experience of that person, and would I really be any different?
That usually brings me back to a degree of acceptance and compassion, even as I can be rather stern in dealing with what is actually unacceptable behaviour.
Ted — That’s a fantastic perspective! 🙂
I usually think of something that raises my hackles are little things like someone standing too close in line to me at the grocery store, or people following too close on the road, or clutter –those kinds of things. I guess I use a different word for deep injustice and arrogance or misconduct. FWIW Thanks for always pointing us in interesting directions!
Melodie — The brief list of things you mentioned “irritate” me, for sure, but they don’t trigger the stronger responses of loathe, disdain, or repugnance like indifference does.
Falseness in any form.
Ana — Ditto that!
🙏🏼
I really don’t like it when people tell me what I should or should not eat, especially when the advise is delivered with a holier-than-thou tone. It makes me want to go out and eat MORE of what they’re telling me I should not eat. I think I’ll go and have a piece of cheese right now, as a matter of fact . . .
Arlene — You just made me laugh out loud. Thank you! 🙂
Most politicians. Hypocrites. Evangelicals and others who proclaim themselves to be “pro-life” but only mean certain lives. They are for the lives of unborn babies. But feel no remorse and don’t protest and proclaim “I’m pro-life!” when gun violence kills people (mostly of color), or our leaders send young people off to die in undeclared wars against some countries, or to fight an unseeable foe (terrorism), or let refugees die in giant holding pens waiting for their cases to be decided, or let poorly paid workers in foreign countries die in sweatshop-like conditions in a factory just so they can score a bargain on some cheap clothes at Walmart or get the latest and greatest electronic gadget with which to waste countless hours of time accomplishing absolutely nothing other than numbing their brains.
*end of rant* 😉
Must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
Chris
Chris — In my perspective, your list has tremendous merit. It provides excellent food for thought, thank you.
Chris, I woke up on the same wrong side of the bed. Feel exactly as you do.
What gets my hackles up? People who lack compassion, especially those who say mean things. Your pose suggests blocking them out, which I advise.
Conversely, I appreciate benevolent acts and the motivation behind them. Kindness never fails, appreciated or not.
On another note: I still like your blue ring, Laurie, and the nice, wavy back of your head!
Marian — “Kindness never fails.” Amen, siSTAR! 🌟
P.S. What looks like “wave” in my hair is like a brillo pad to brush through 😂
;-D
Yes, as Elie Wiesel put it so wisely, indifference is what we have to avoid in living our lives in loving ways. In her book Eichmann in Jerusalem, Hannah Arendt describes how indifference leads to banality of evil. We can justify horrific acts against other humans, other beings, and the world as we become indifferent to justice and equity.
Ivon — Oh, thank you for mentioning Hannah Arendt’s book. I just added it to my must-read list.
I used her other book The Human Condition in my dissertation, but find she has a clear-eyed view of the world in each book.
In my career as a librarian, I was privileged, honored and humbled by being present when Elie Wiesel spoke at a conference. He was frail, his voice soft, barely audible. A new translation of Night had just come out. Thousands of people sat in absolute silence, absorbing every word. Not one reached for their luncheon dessert or coffee cup, there was no sound at all but for his voice. All activity ceased while he spoke.
I remember this experience often, especially when the world seems bent on hosting evils, not for the horror he suffered and asked us never to forget, but for the hope and transcendence he personifies. I stood in line for more than an hour to get a copy of the new translation. When I got back to my library, I decided to house it in the Young Adult area — my way of placing hope in the world.
Jane — I love what you shared here. It gave me goosebumps just reading it. Thank you.
Jane, Elie Wiesel spoke in a lecture at the University of North Florida. He had the same effect upon the audience. I admire your hopeful act of placing his book in the YA area of your library.
Very true. 😩
Fatima — Sad 😥
Oh! I work very hard to turn the rhetoric back onto the other person or speaker and believe it is their problem. I get most upset when I meet children who have been brain washed early in life, such as the 17 year old child terrorist who shot 2 people and killed one. The truth is emerging. Then I find myself wishing he had shot the current administration chief not a silent protestor. I find myself hoping that Karma was providing faster results for my satisfaction. I have doubled my mediation time as the smoke, propaganda and lies fill the air….maybe I need a practice of sweeping the forest? I find these feelings always make me think of what more I could be doing.
Patricia — Acts of violence tend to boil the blood 😤
On of my favourite quotes. It is a reminder to me that this quote is for me, that I must be the person who exemplifies compassion and understanding. There is a serenity that comes when we chose the best path.
ClanMother — Yes. Be the Change. Each of us needs to own this.
One day at a time!!! Thank you for creating a welcoming space and fostering a compassionate community! I enjoy following your posts!
ClanMother — I’m so glad you’re here! 🙂
Love, love, love anything written by Elle Wiesel.
Indifference is maddening to me. There has been so many times, and so much which disturbed my soul, and when I raged against an hateful or heartless action, turned around too see far too few standing with me.
I wonder what is missing within them?
Are we seeing the same reality?
When will more people wake up and take action.
I apologize for typos. My blood was too hot as I wrote, not checking my an vs a or too vs. to.
I don’t want to be indifferent to the rules of grammar among a community of writers.
Audrey — No worries, whatsoever 🙂
Audrey — Oh, how I can relate to what you’re saying, and turning around to see far too few standing with me.
Callousness. Callousness in the face of suffering raises my ire.
MomzillaNC — Yes. Oh, Yes!
Laurie, exceptional question. You shouldn’t find many half-hearted responses here, despise is a terribly hard word to lay claim to. I despise the loss of civility in the process of daily exchange. The news outlets carry items that would have sent our parents reeling in disbelief, gee, they send me reeling too! How are we going to work and pull together when we can’t even bring ourselves to have the necessary conversations to make common cause?
Sandi — I strongly resonate with what gets your hackles up: “the loss of civility in the process of daily exchange.”
Many times, and I understand your feeling well.
After reading everyone’s annoyance about the selfishness of people in this Pandemic I can see it is happening everywhere not just here in the U.K . What is really bugging ME is that SOME people think that RULES to keep them safe , to keep them ALIVE is to ‘get at them ‘ to ruin their fun 😤 I knew ‘The Laurie Gang ‘ would be sensible. Three cheers 🤗
Cherryx
Cherry — Three cheers, indeed! Woohoo 🙂