Influence – The Power to Affect

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I keep a little handwritten post-it-note on my desk that says: Never underestimate the influence you have on others. This serves as an important reminder that people are affected by me. They’re affected by you, too.

In thinking about our individual lives, they can be likened to the hub of a wheel that has many spokes—each spoke leading to a person in our sphere of influence; each person affected in some way (positive or not-so-positive) by what we think, say, and do (or fail to do); each person affected by our personal energy signature.

As a child, sibling, parent, neighbor, coworker, partner, spouse, etc., you know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of other people.

What’s it like to be on the receiving end of you?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
               — Laurie Buchanan

www.HolEssence.com and our Facebook page

© 2011 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved

37 thoughts on “Influence – The Power to Affect

  1. Laurie, as you know I just spend the May long weekend with four generations of my family. What a wonderful way to have “me” reflected back to me. Each person having a slightly different relationship to me and all appreciating me strengths and shortcomings. So much laughing and story-telling.

    And there is a recent photo taken by my daughter which I feel captured an unguarded “me” and reflects how she mostly experiences her mom http://www.flickr.com/photos/26017374@N07/5756282073/in/set-72157626674706669

    Though this is not a “pretty” picture of me, it is one I really like for its honesty and authentic signature. I can experience the “me” she loves through her eyes in this photo. Something quite rare and precious.

      • Oh I don’t know Leanne… maybe because I am sitting on a rock with my jeans rolled and my bare toes curling up. It is not like a studio shot or anything… just a natural everyday life photo. No makeup or dress clothes or airbrushing – just me, by the pool with my newest grandson enjoying a day with my children and their families, my parents and sister and her family. So that is why:)

    • Terrill – I love that photograph! I tried to leave a comment right there (in flickr), but I’m not sure it stayed (I quickly created an “account” so I could leave one). The things you shared with Leanne (jeans, barefoot, no makeup) are the very things that make it such a wonderful photograph! While I was out in “flickr” and snooped at some of the rest of your photographs. It looks like a GREAT time was had by all!

    • Beautiful! This is my favorite kind of picture, authentic and honest, in a natural setting, without any pretense!

  2. I watched Oprah’s final show last night. It was truly inspiring –and no, I’m not an Oprah groupie. I especially like what she said about owning my enegry. I seek to spread goodness and light. Sometimes I fail–because I’m human. Everyone has an off day. What I can do–what anyone can do–is try for mostly.

  3. I feel too wordy in writing and I think I am too BIG PICTURE – Utopian for the people I meet on the street and who visit me…
    I think I am fairly wise…and speaking of pictures, I have to wait until the end of June to get my daughter to take a picture of me for the new business…!!!

    Maybe it will be enough time to figure out what to do about my hair!!!! IT is truly making me feel self-conscious these days I am laughing now…

    I just so enjoy your short and sweet – inspiring words

    • Patricia – I’m looking forward to when you can reveal the new business you’ve mentioned. You’ve got us all intrigued. I’m glad you enjoy the posts here at Speaking from the Heart. I enjoy writing (and photographing) them 🙂

  4. Well, according to my granddaughter, January, being on the receiving end of me when she visits means she feels like a princess, feels loved, gets everything she wants, gets hugs and kisses, gets doted on hand and foot, doesn’t have to get out of her jammies . . . heck, I want to visit me, too! Thank you for this inspiring reminder to ask myself this question anytime I interact with another: what is it like to be on the receiving end of me right now?

  5. To be on the receiving end of ME. . . oh my goodness Laurie it’s totally multidimentional. On sooooooooooo many levels do I receive a bounty of wealth. Thank you for asking, cuz I often ‘forget’ to remember this.

  6. Hi Laurie

    A very thought provoking question.

    How could I possibly know what it is like to be on the receiving end of me, except by what others tell me?

    How much of what others tell me is effected by what they think I want to hear?

    How much of what we hear is influenced by cultural matters?

    How much of what we “receive” from another is influenced by cultural matter beyond the awareness of either sender or receiver?

    How much of what we send is conscious, vs unconscious?

    Fascinating to contemplate how incomplete and unreliable is our information about ourselves!

    Arohanui
    Ted

  7. I read this when you first posted it, but took a couple of days to think. I’m afraid that being on the receiving end of me might be different than what I think it is. I feel pretty confident that my children would say it is nuturing, kind and loving. The rest of the world I’m not so sure I have been very conscious of that. Your post triggered a conscious effort on my part to make the receiving end more pleasant for those around me.

    • Chris – I love your thought-filled answer. I’ve been on the receiving end of you many times and it’s always been positive, uplifting, constructive, and healing. I hope you and yours have a great (if wet) Memorial Day weekend.

  8. I think it’s different for every person who is on the receiving end of me, according to what part of me they see. Some people see one thing; others see another. This is a very thought-provoking post, indeed! Thank you, Laurie.

    • Kathy – You bring up a great point — different people may see/receive different things from us even if we’re BEing exactly the same with everyone. Those differences could be based upon their “needs” or the “lenses: they view life through (our perspective is determined, in great part, by the baggage we choose to carry).

  9. Pingback: My influence on others | Ted Howard NZ's Blog

  10. Laurie, I love the spokes of a wheel/bicycle analogy in the receiving end discussion here. Well, I see myself as somewhat overbearing, albeit a “motivator” in many ways. But we are in large measure a melting pot of what we learn and are influenced by others. It may well be the influence of just a jump start, or an entire persona that’s exert an enormous influence on someone who may just require a jump start or a substantial creative transfusion.

    Happy Memorial Day weekend to you and Len!

    • Sam – I can see the word “motivator” suits you perfectly. It’s a great attribute to have as both a parent and a teacher. Overbearing? I highly doubt it. In the one video clip I saw of you a few months ago I would say that you’re gregarious, fun loving, and passionate about what you do.

      The long Memorial Day weekend marks the end of school here until fall. Is school out for the summer in your neck of the woods too?

      • Well I thank you so much for that Laurie!

        School actually continues until around June 24th.

        In addition, as usual I will be teaching the six-week summer program (gifted and talented literature/creative writing), which ends around August 6th.

        Sorry to hear you had rain today; it’s been glorious here all day, though a bit too muggy.

      • Sam – You don’t get out until June 24th?! Good grief — you must start way later than we do — at least I sure hope so! Your summer program sounds like it would be FUN!

  11. Another great one Laurie, and really something to think about.
    I am not sure what it is like to be the receiving end of ME, other than what some people tell me. But, I try to be a good person, a great and true friend, to care about others.
    I always hope my writings will help others in some way, even if only to bring a smile to their heart.
    I guess that when I die I would like for others to feel I was somehow a blessing in their lives, and that I leave them with a warm, loving Heart Smile.

  12. Pingback: Buster Keaton, Bob Clark, “The Tree of Life,” “Midnight in Paris,” “Went the Day Well?” and staging of Tennessee Williams’s “One Arm” on Tuesday Morning Diary (June 1) « Wonders in the Dark

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