Hangin' in the Breeze by Laurie Buchanan
Depending on your geographic location, several of you will remember the blizzard we shared in February. Its icy fingers brought many parts the Northeast and the Midwest to its knees. In our neck of the woods—Crystal Lake, Illinois—it was accompanied by bone chilling, gale force winds.
When everything was said and done, a neighbor who lives across the protected wetlands behind us drove over and asked, “Did you guys know that the siding on the back of your garage blew off?” We had no idea! Checking it out, we soon discovered that our garage’s bum was, indeed, hangin’ in the breeze.
After a call to our insurance agent and multiple bid-type conversations with siding companies, I’m pleased to say that everything’s been put back to rights.
Everything put to rights again by Laurie Buchanan
When do you feel exposed and vulnerable? What makes it right again?
“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan
www.HolEssence.com and our Facebook page
© 2011 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved
Tuesdays with Laurie 
When do I feel exposed? Hopefully not with my bum hanging in the breeze.
So when? Hmm – difficult questions from my children maybe. Though, not really, they have to be answered and that’s all there is to that.
I suppose when people ask me why my book is not published. There are reasons. It’s possible to answer, but doesn’t feel good.
The short more positive answer is – not yet.
Paul – I appreciate your comment here this morning. I agree that “not yet” is much better than not at all. To be sure, having a book published is a time intensive row to hoe that has many sticky hoops to jump through along the way. I’m making a point of enjoying every moment of the journey — even the “no thank you’s” — confident that every “no” puts me that much closer to my “yes.”
Good attitude. I’ll work on my positivity.
Paul – I have every confidence in you 🙂
What a thoughtful neighbor! I’m glad you had your garage fixed before any more damage could be done.
I feel exposed and vulnerable when in crowds or large groups of people. The only way to make it right is to literally hang on to a companion, usually Tim, but anyone sympathetic will do, or get away from or to the edge of the crowd.
Barbara – Thank you for your visit this morning. Similar to you, I don’t like feeling “crushed” by a group of people. As long as there’s plenty of space around me, there can be oodles of people. But the moment my space is gone, I am too.
Laurie,
Interesting take on feeling vulnerable!
Right not with my Kidney infection, lower chakra out of balance. I need to consult a few holistic practitioners and healers.
The self healing is taking much too long!
Jeff
Jeff – Good morning! I’m so glad you popped in. Please be on the lookout for an email shortly.
Ah Laurie what a good question. My most uncomfortable, feeling exposed and vulnerable times are when I need to do that formal social thing when I have no real role to play other than as a “guest.” It could be a wedding, a formal dinner party, or a cocktail gathering at a conference.
I can thoroughly have enjoyed being the keynote speaker, facilitating a 3 hour workshop for 80 people and still cringe at the thought of wandering around chatting with a glass of wine and few crackers and cheese about to fall off my napkin – with the same people.
What makes it better is I set myself a personal task. I say things to myself like “you only have to be there for 45 minutes so who do you want to make sure you say connect?” or “there is a hot bath by candlelight waiting for you once this is over” or “pick three people who are feeling as uncomfortable as you and engage them in conversation – you will all feel better.”
Surprisingly, I usually enjoy myself if I choose to drop in for the earlier part of the event and leave when it is in full swing. Weddings are a little more tricky. Out of politeness it is best to wait until the vows are said:) I am joking but you get what I mean.
The best experience: One time when my book was for sale at a large gathering three very caring extroverted colleagues worked the room and brought people to me “to meet the author” and then untangled me from people who might like to chat with me for the whole evening. It worked great! I didn’t really do anything but meander in the crowd and smile until someone either came up to me or was escorted my way. We sold books and I knew what my job was and I met all sorts of interesting people.
Oh, this is a long response! Sorry about that Laurie. I think I got carried away.
Terrill – I love what you’ve shared here about vulnerability and what you do about it — realistic, personal tasks that get you from Point A to Point B, and then from Point B to Point C, and so on. This is GREAT advice for the rest of us because it’s incrementally doable. Thank you!
It is such a wonderful feeling when everything is put back right!….I was able to hang the washing on the line this weekend – speaking of out in the breeze, not quite the same! but oh my do the sheets smell fair heavenly.
Great interview on Sam’s site…enjoyed it so much Thank you
Patricia – Ohhhhh, to hang wash on the line and then have fresh, crisp laundry. I love it! I’m so glad you enjoyed the interview over on Wonders in the Dark — Sam Juliano made it painless and fun 🙂
Hi Laurie, I’m thinking about this……
Have been feeling this way quite a bit lately. Like the feeling in a dream of finding myself naked, usually in public, or desperately trying to find some clothes or cover.
Trying to get used to new and somewhat unfamiliar breezes…….
Colleen – I’ve not had that same (naked) dream experience. I can imagine that it would trigger rather strong self-conscious feelings. Now the breeze part I can somewhat relate to as my dreams usually entail flying (clothed), without wings, or any visible means of support (sort of Superman style — minus the cape).
I feel exposed and vulnerable most of the time.
The Helen Keller quote about “security is mostly an illusion” is a favourite of mine.
I am afraid of meteors and comets.
I am afraid of large scale volcanism.
I am afraid of large scale landslip causing major tsunami.
I am afraid of global pandemic – either natural or man-made.
I am afraid of the devastation caused to both human and natural systems by the naked greed of many people and the corruption at all levels of governance.
I am afraid of the profits made by the “military industrial complex”.
I am afraid of the effects of poverty on our ability to learn and to think, and to feel part of the larger human community.
I am afraid of the effects of economics on human thought, and the illusions that the unethical use of money fosters.
What makes it right again?
Reading authors like Jared Diamond, seeing websites like John Fullerton’s http://www.capitalinstitute.org.
Being part of communities like this one of Laurie’s, and anewgaia.ning.com.
Being out in my local community and being part of the Lions Club with their ethic and motto “We Serve”.
Being part of community groups like Forest and Bird, Kaikoura Tramping Club, Kaikoura Marine and Coastal protection Society, Kaikoura Coastal Guardians, Kaikoura District Council.
Seeing people coming together, with growing awareness of environmental and social issues, with ever wider networks.
Getting out and walking the dogs, playing golf, or tramping.
Ted – You could tip me over with a feather at your comment, “I feel exposed and vulnerable most of the time.” From my perspective, you’re one of the bravest, most courageous people that I know. I work with people who receive news similar to the news you received about this time last year and most of them curl up into a ball of fear. You went toe-to-toe with it, looked it square in the eye, and defied it.
Hi Laurie,
Perhaps the difference, if there is one, is that I am so used to working through fear, of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, that the cancer diagnosis really wasn’t all that different from day to day life.
It was just one more thing to look in the eye, to accept, and then to get on with doing what I feel willing to do, with what I have.
Ted, you are absolutely one of the bravest and most level-headed guys I know of! Why do you think I bring my toughest questions to you?
Hi Sandi
Thanks for that.
Maybe bravery is in the eye of the beholder.
I don’t do a lot that is “rash”, and I see dangers most places I look. So most of my life is spent finding the safest and easiest way of navigating through those dangers to do what I want to do.
Maybe bravery is a misnomer. Maybe it is simply developing skill sets that allow one to do things in relative safety that seem to others lacking those skill sets to be difficult and dangerous.
I scare easily. I am not particularly rash. And I am willing to trust my intuitions and my skills.
Good to hear that all is again right.
When do I feel exposed. Many, many times. So, is the life of an introvert living in a world dominated by extroverts. Prehaps, the worse is when a red rash creeps up from my neck and covers my face–for no appreciate reason. At those time, I long for a mask or sack. : )
Glad you got your siding back, Laurie. Nothing like being exposed in the dead of winter. Brrrrr! I am currently fretting and feeling a bit exposed over a leukoplakia on my tongue that my dentist found and wants to have biopsied. Of course, I imagine the worst: cancer that will consume my entire tongue, mouth and esophagus. Oy.
Oy, my eye! Your dentist is a veteran at diagnosing these little issues before they become big ones. A stitch in time, you know…
Laurie, that is a very good question, especially right now. There is so much I am wanting to get done….NOW! The days fly by so fast I can’t keep up with my own plans and agenda, much less what is expected of me by others. It’s become essential that I re-evaluate my priorities and make some cuts. I feel that I am trying to please too many people at the expense of my own peace of mind and over-all health and that does make me feel vulnerable. Hanging out in the breeze or walking a tight rope, there is always the danger of falling. Of course, my garden is looking great.
BYW, the article by Sam was wonderful, he has you pegged!
It seems a lot of us have been exposed and visible and raw and naked with these natural disasters this year. I feel exposed and vulnerable often when I’ve said something in which I feel the exact opposite way about it, as well. It feels so uncomfortable, like I’m defending only one side of a coin without honoring the other side. I make it right by realizing that this acceptance doesn’t have to be simultaneous. It is OK to simply experience one half of the coin and praise it. Another day the other half of the coin will lie heads or tails up, and it too can be honored. (Hope this makes sense.)
Kathy – I oh-so-appreciate your coin analogy. It makes a lot of sense!
What a great neighbor – So glad you got everything fixed up before the rain hit us the past few weeks.
When do I feel most vulnerable? When I’m not in control of the situation that myself or my family is in. My husband losing his job in 2010 and not knowing how we would continue to provide a home for our family made me feel so out of control and vulnerable. Telling our friends and family made me feel very exposed, it was a topic we had never discussed before. Making it right again, took a joint effort by myself and my husband, to dedicate our time and energy to finding a new job for him, and me going back to work. We’re no where newr the income level we were at previously, but I don’t feel vulnerable any longer, I feel empowered.
Chris – Welcome to Speaking from the Heart — it’s great to see you here! “EMPOWERED” — You go, girl!
My reading of your post could not have come at a better time Laurie. Forced by a cancellation of my connecting flight into Asheville from Chicago – already weary from the sleepless flight via the red eye from Kona and a 6 hour layover in L.A. I bedded down ‘in chairs’ at the airport last night praying for time to pass swiftly. Exposed and vulnerable?? Ahhh yes, that would describe my plight . . to a T!!
Alison – Ohhhhhhhh, bedding down in chairs at O’Hare doesn’t sound fun — at all. Yowza!
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I agree with the others you ask a good question. I also feel vulnerable when people ask “when are you going to finish your second book?”
I also feel vulnerable when in a group of people and after initially being part of the conversation it all changes because I don’t feel I have anything of value to say and I become quiet.
Ann – Maybe when people ask you about your second book you could say something like, “Right now my schedule doesn’t permit, but I certainly will when the window of opportunity presents itself.”
As for when a conversation changes…You might try, “That’s interesting, I’d like to hear more.” Or maybe, “Wow, help me to understand more about ___.” When all else fails remember this: people always love to talk about themselves. When I don’t know what to say, or there’s an awkward lull in conversation, I know I can always ask questions about the person/people I’m with 🙂
RE the book I usually tell them it is almost done, but since I don’t have a publisher at the moment there is no rush 🙂
As for communication with others in a group, sometimes I decide it is better to listen and learn…and just enjoy being with them. Guess I should have added these points in my initial comment 🙂