Coolin’ Your Heels?

Coolin' Your Heels by Len Buchanan

Coolin' Your Heels by Len Buchanan

According to the dictionary, when you leave someone to cool their heels, you’re “making them wait until they have calmed down.”

I have one heckofa wicked temper (some of you—bless your hearts—may find that hard to believe, but trust me, it’s oh-so-true). That, combined with a short fuse, doesn’t make for a very pleasant combination. I’ve had to work very hard to change this.

When I was a whippersnapper I found myself grounded—put on restriction, cooling my heels—on more than one occasion (okay, a lot!).

Now as a seasoned adult—a mature grownup (Len is rolling on the ground, snorting with laughter!) when I’m cooling my heels, it’s self-imposed. Not because I’m spun up about something. Rather, because I’m giving myself time, space, and stillness to ponder—to look before I leap.

When was the last time you cooled your heels?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
               – Laurie Buchanan

www.HolEssence.com.

© 2011 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved

32 thoughts on “Coolin’ Your Heels?

  1. Terrific picture and the post! I can see (on many levels) how your “Green Brain” would cause you to be impatient and heat up your temper. Believe it or not!

  2. Laurie, and Len,

    Too funny! Great shot Len.

    learning to not explode when it does not serve is a practice many could use to learn. I can’t imagine you Laurie being such a creature but if you says so it must be true. For if there is one person who knows herself, it be you!

    Che was writing about a Zen practice that ask the practitioner to allow those moments of fire to burn within so that the energy can later be used in a positive productive way. Much like a Tantra practice, breathing in and breathing out, holding and shaping.

    I usually have to “cool my heels” with myself, from not allow myself enough time, to not being present for that which I am about!

    Gee what the heck did all of that come from?
    Thank you for the thoughtful blog, as well as the humor.

    I am Love, Jeff

    • Jeff – I’m glad for your visit and what you’ve shared here. I like how you phrased it, “learning to not explode.” [As far as the photograph…Len had to work REALLY QUICK because it was darned cold standing barefoot in that snow!]

  3. Great photo and blog post, Laurie. With time … with life experience … I’ve learned to cool my heels whenever I feel uncertain about my direction. Which is often enough. In the haste of my 20s & 30s etc., I felt pressure to succeed … pressure to prove something to myself and/or others. But luckily, I’ve realized letting go of expectations is a good thing. So liberating. Just being here is good enough; this moment is good enough. The now is bliss because it is life — and we are life.

    Hope your day is effortless. With heart, Daisy

    • Daisy – I so appreciate what you shared: “…letting go of expectations is a good thing.” Yes, indeed! I appreciate your visit, thank you for stopping in today.

  4. great post Laurie. I could do with some cool heels about now, maybe cool head as well. How does the process work? lol Do you start at the heels and work your way up, or the other way…
    Speaking of hot we are experiencing an unseasonal heatwave in my little corner of the world. Barefoot in the snow looking really good to me right now…

    • Gil – To answer your question, for me it’s starting at the heart-center and working up/down simultaneously — taking care of my “bookends” (so to speak). You envy our cold, and I envy your heat. That old saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side” certainly applies in this case. Thank you so much for your visit today, I sure do appreciate it.

  5. Recently, I wished to take an active role in strenghtening a relationship between two governing bodies. Someone else dived in and made it impossible for me to participate. I was fuming inside. I wanted so badly to scream and expose the situation. I wanted to…but I didn’t.
    Instead, I thought, how can I handled this situation maturily. I thought it through and then acted. I feel so proud of my ability to cool my heels.
    It’s taken many years for me to understand and work with my anger, but I’m getting there.
    I think, it’s important to realize–or at least for me–that anger is not a negative emotion. What is negative/postive is how you act when you are moved by it.

    • LeanneOhhhhhh, thank you for sharing your recent experience. I’m proud of your ability to cool your heels, too! I absolutely LOVE what you you shared: “…anger is not a negative emotion. What is negative/positive is how you act when you are moved by it.” Food for the soul – thank you!

  6. Len’s not the only one ROFLing.

    I have a slow fuse, but you do not want to be near me when it does burn through.
    It gives me more opportunity to “cool my heels”, and sometimes I don’t – then I usually have a lot of mess to clean up (in one realm or another – or sometimes several).

    I cool my heels most days.

    Great post – thanks Laurie – got a really good laugh (just imagining you doin’ the three yr old thing. Na nah na nah nahh nahhh!!! ) Thank you for you openness, and willingness to share vulnerability. reminds me of the Brene Brown TED talk

    • Ted – Your response (Len’s not the only one ROFLing) has me laughing. I can oh-so-relate to having a lot of mess to clean up in one realm or another. Not so much anymore, but gosh have I “been there, done that.”

      Let’s see now… with me being born in 1957 and you being born in 1955, my 3-year-old self would have been delighted to Na nah na nah nahh nahhh at your 5-year-old self (who would have probably been delighted to clobber me on the head in return 🙂

      Thank you for the link – this is GREAT!

  7. “I have one heckofa wicked temper (some of you—bless your hearts—may find that hard to believe, but trust me, it’s oh-so-true). That, combined with a short fuse, doesn’t make for a very pleasant combination.”

    Laurie, I must admit I am shocked at this revelation, though be hot-tempered is not necessarily a bad thing. As part of an Italian-American family, I must admit the stereotype holds here too! I had to cool my heals recently when I got into the wrong lane at the Lincoln Tunnel (the easy-pass lane as opposed to the cash lane) but the fact is I wasn’t in the wrong lane until I got to the point when I couldn’t get off after a poorly-managed shift change was negotiated. The end result was that an officer told me to ‘go through’ the easy pass, as I couldn’t hold up traffic, hence dooming me to a $60 traffic violation. I was headling in for a Manhattan movie that night during the Fritz Lang Festival, and I can’t say I was too happy! Ha!

    Love Len’s photo there!

    • Sam – Your Lincoln Tunnel “incident” with the $60 fee associated sounds seriously f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-n-g! In getting to watch you recently on two YouTube clips, I can only imagine a wonderful, outgoing, gregarious man who’s absolutely passionate about cinema and everything to do with it.

  8. Gosh, I can think of a time last week when I DIDN’T cool my heels, but when did I? I guess, like Jeff up above, the answer would be with myself. Needing to cool my heels and be present, not grasping to eat cookies or popcorn or check email in an effort to avoid the inner “emptiness” or silence. By the way, really like that picture! I can almost see steam coming off those heels! (I accidentally typed “heals”…interesting…)

    • Kathy – In your statement, “…not grasping to eat cookies or popcorn or check email…” I can so identify with the “email” aspect. I’m glad you enjoyed the photograph (I’ll tell Len). And “heals” as opposed to “heels” was a complete and total accident (which I will fix after the next post gets published).

  9. Interesting that the title is “Cooling your HEALS” not “Cooling your HEELS” — when I read the title I thought you were going to write about some cool healing therapies. I now think that it is a Freudian slip and there is more beneath the surface that is asking for a voice!

    From what you have told us about your mom, I think you might have inherited a little bit of her spunk. 😀

    • Barbara – I sooooooo meant to type “heels.” If I got even an nth of my mom’s spunk, I’m a like a zippy-do-dah sparkler on the Fourth of July! I always enjoy your visits – thank you for stopping by.

  10. First of all, I can hear my Mom’s voice saying that you will get sick from standing in the snow (unless of course it is to cool your heels).

    Interesting to reflect on you with a “wicked temper” and “short fuse” – Ok, who wrote this post?? Since I spend hours a day with 3-6 yr. olds, perhaps it would be better to describe yourself as ” extremely strong-willed” and “passionate” to see the positive,uplifting, constructive and healing attributes of your qualities, especially if they were all part of getting you to where you are now. Just a thought.

    • Lisa – I think I can hear your mom’s voice too 🙂 You’re absolutely right…”extremely strong-willed” or “passionate” would have been great descriptive words. You’ve given me pause for thought (thank you). I think “tenacious” might even be a keeper!

      Readers – Lisa just gave birth to a blog: ISLAND TIME – INTENTIONAL TRAVEL ESSENTIAL FOR WELL BEING. It’s HER home that we rented last year when we went to Eleuthera Island in the Bahamas.

      Please go visit her blog and say, “Laurie sent me for some delicious conch fritters!”

  11. Laurie, I’m so glad that your stint in the snow was self-imposed and not Len, being outraged about something, driving you into the snow without a sock nor shoon. I can’t see Len doing that anyway, much easier to see your fertile mind ticking away and the asking, ” Len! Honey, come here a minute, will you?” I can see the shock and dismay on Len’s face as he regards you standing bare-legged in the snow and thinking, ” She’s lost it. She has finally gone and lost her entire mind.” You will do anything to prove a point, no doubt! Anyway, I’m laughing! Gosh, I don’t get mad. Well, once in a while. Maybe. But it’s never my fault. Ever. Well, hardly ever.

    • Sandi – “I don’t get mad. Well, once in a while. Maybe. But it’s never my fault. Ever. Well, hardly ever.” Your comment is responsible for putting a face-splitting grin on my face this morning, thank you 🙂 (I think Len finds me ’round the bend nearly every day)…

  12. I don’t often lose my temper, I kind of back away from a situation until things sort themselves out, which I’ve learned will eventually happen if I keep my mouth shut and wait patiently…

    One day however, a long time ago when my son was a teen, I got into a heated “philosophical” discussion with him which soon boiled over into a loud argument. I was so exasperated with his stubborness that I started to stomp out of the room, past the stairs, where our sweet tabby cat happened to be sitting. Apparently she was alarmed by the unusual disturbance, so when I got to her perch she reached out with her paw and smacked my face as I went by! It was a soft little rebuke, as her claws were not out, but I was so startled it made a big impression on me! I think of her now on those rare occasions I feel my temper flaring up.

    Laurie, I can’t believe you stood in the snow to illustrate your point! That’s dedication!

  13. Actually I did in fact cool my heels last weekend! I was listening to a Wayne Dyer DVD and he was talking about gratitude, patience and being kind. I got in line of the SLOWEST checker on the face of the earth! I decided to put Wayne’s advice to the test. I said Beth this lady is old and not as fast as all the rest of the checkers. Keep cool, read a magazine and be at peace with yourself. I have to say I was very successful where I’d normally be a fuming bitchy mess! Thank you Wayne!!!

  14. Yesterday I needed ,to go head first into that snowstorm to cool my jets!

    Was turned down for s loan, sas my assets are tied with another hott-head….ugh…..Zi will end up in a hoeless shelter….I will keep pluggin along. i have to say another thing i am urgently finding out ladies!

    It truly is a mans world!!!!!! Double ugh…..

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