Line of Communication by Laurie Buchanan
Riding our bicycles the other morning we passed what seemed like a never-ending line of telephone poles—a line of communication—standing smartly at attention. It made me think of the game “gossip” where someone whispers a bit of information into a person’s ear, it’s passed along in the same manner, and by the time the last person shares it out loud with the group, it’s changed considerably from the original message.
That line of thinking caused me examine my own communication and ask:
Am I clear, concise, and articulate?
Do I say what I mean, and mean what I say?
Do I deliver my message like a nail gun—hammering each point home? Or do I deliver it with graceful strength that leaves the recipient’s dignity in tact?
In other words, would I want to be on the receiving end of my own delivery style?
My mother used to say, “Laurie, make your words sweet and tender today, for tomorrow you may have to eat them.”
How’s your line of communication?
“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
– Laurie Buchanan
www.HolEssence.com
Copyright © 2010 Laurie Buchanan — All Rights Reserved.
Tuesdays with Laurie 
Well written crisp & timely post Laurie !…Thanks for sharing !…
Bkjagadish – I’m so glad you stopped by and left a comment, thank you.
Oh my, what good insightful thoughts! My delivery style is to try to make the person feel at home, to feel like they can say anything, to keep the energy at the level of the heart. To be authentic: to encourage the authenticity of the other. To toss away the masks! Or at least laugh at the masks…as much as possible. Not so much into thinking about what I say. Perhaps could use a little more of this at times. More concerned about the flow of love beneath the surface; staying in that flow of love…
And loving YOU this morning!
Kathy – Your delivery style shimmers with beauty in your blog — Lake Superior Spirit.
Laurie,
Loving you this morning as well!
Lines of communication are the most important thiongs. Tone,Body Language,and words can be productive or non-productive depending on the delivery just like those telephone polls hidden or standing tall.
Thanks for putting this on my agenda this morning. I am downtown Chicago auditing two sites…probably will cost 80.00 to just park!…
TGIF….Kim
Opps sorry acronyms can be tricky too! “+”LOL
Kim – I’m glad you brought up tone and body language as well. Those two ingredients can enhance or ruin the flavor of any message.
You mother’s words were wise and memorable. She taught you well. You are a woman of words and a woman of her word!
Sheila – I’m glad you stopped by. I just enjoyed your recent post — Mother of the Bride Personality Types.
Laurie, I had David, my brother, over for lunch today. Unlike most siblings I hear about, we get along famously. We are often on the same page whether it be the current political uproar, the wisdom of turning your life over to your doctor, the best new artisan bread, or why someone who is apparently sane and level headed would stand in the blistering Sun to pick the last of the blueberries. When we disagree, we do it loudly, emphatically but always politely and graciously leaving the other with an honorable way out. Is it really so hard to communicate with others? Sure! Not everyone has my point of view, my tolerance for the uninformed, my ability to laugh off what others might feel slighted about. I am a salesman by nature, if I like something, I want everyone else to like it too. I will help you to like it if you let me. I will not force it down your throat, make you feel small or ignorant if you don’t want it. I will feel your resistance and let it go if it makes you uncomfortable. But I want you to like it anyway. Not every one has my approach or attitude so I have to build bridges. We all have our agendas, sometimes they mesh, quite often they clash. We work around disturbances in our lives till we are on the same wavelength again. Communication is give and take, disbursing and receiving information whether verbally, visually or one of the many other ways people have arrived at to get the point across. It is best done with care, kindness and respect for as your Mother said, you might have to eat those words.
Sandi – I can just picture you and David standing toe-to-toe, Southern accents flying, as you verbally wrangle over who’s gonna go after a snake in the chicken house, and who’s not! The one piece that you left out of your communication descriptor is HUMOR. You’ve been responsible for me shooting tea out my nose with laughter on numerous occasions!
Well, Laurie, I’ve always said I have one of those West Texas shoot-from-the-mouth voices and, no, I often would not want to be on the receiving end of one of my tirades! I am still working on disconnecting a lot of those buttons.
Barbara – I’ve heard your voice on the phone and it’s smooth, like liquid sunshine — honey.
….Kathy & Sandiwhite , you ‘ve both enhanced the beauty of what Laurie had to say !!…thank you !
Laurie – just wanted to pop in and say howdy, and that your post today made me wonder about the my own “lines of communication”. Upon reflection, it may be most accurate to say that my communication is often clouded by smokescreens, in that I tend to bury the heart of the matter beneath words that sound fluffy or more genteel than what is really going on inside my head.
I think I’ve evolved to communicating this way out of necessity (or PERCEIVED necessity, to be more accurate), and that it’s important to recognize that the most satisfying and useful conversations tend to be those that are reflections of honesty and revelation, touched with a generous dose of gentle humor and compassion.
Thanks for giving me an opportunity to really reflect on the choices I make when communicating with others. Information is valuable. Recognition is valuable. After all, the choices I make aren’t accidental (although sometimes it’s easier to believe they are). They are choices I make.
Thinking about your post made me also think about another form of communication. If I’m going to keep the lines of communication open, that means being willing to converse with honestly and intention, even when conversing with myself. How I speak to myself should reflect how I would choose to speak to someone I have fond affection for, or who I admire. Why would it make sense to be harsh and unloving towards myself, when I would never think to speak to others in that way?
Thanks again for a thought-provoking post. Your communication was direct and honest, and I appreciate that you are willing to share your time and perspective, so that we might take this information and apply it to our own set of circumstances. I’ve always held a sort of disdain for the wires that criss-cross our country, but your post (and photo) has helped me reconsider how I feel about those lines of communication. There’s a lot of love and knowledge being shared on those wires.
Thanks for helping me find the beauty in something I would normally find unattractive and intrusive. Rather than see the physical wires, I see the value of the information that travels across the miles, connecting one soul to another.
Nancy – I’m so glad you popped in to say howdy! I have known you through Gaia for a little over a year now and I’ve always appreciated being on the receiving end of your communication. I have a tremendous respect for your writing style — not just the words you use to convey ideas, but the way you weave them together. I appreciate the question you pose, “Why would it make sense to be harsh and unloving towards myself, when I would never think to speak to others in that way?” Excellent food for thought — thank you.
Hi Laurie,
Nicely said.
There are a few ideas around communication and lines of communication that are speaking to me at present.
One is expressed nicely in this paraphrase Donald Kingsbury (from his book “Geta” – “Courtship Rite” in USA)
”
If a man says whore, and another hears hoar, of what use is it ? Speech no matter how eloquent is not communication.
If a man draws a star, and another sees a cross, of what use is it ? Picture, even if they contain colour, even if they move, are not communication.
If a man caresses a woman, and the woman feels the blade of a knife, of what use is it ? Touch, no matter how intimate and tender is not communication.
For communication to occur a construct in one mind must be duplicated in another.
”
I think this defines it rather beautifully. Communication is the transmission of a symbolic form (concept) from one mind to another. It may be done using any of the senses, hearing, sight, touch, smell, taste. It is usually done in combination, and with feedback, but that is not necessary.
The only necessity is that the concept exist in it’s new home.
When the concept involves abstraction, it may not be directly communicated, the receiving mind can only be taken to a context where it becomes more probable that that mind will make the abstraction for itself.
There is another aspect, of only saying something if the saying is intended as a contribution to the listener. The being responsible for the consequences of the act of communication, whatever its outcome.
One cannot predict reality with certainty, we can only deal with probabilities, both in the assessments of what may happen, and with assessments of what did happen. All we ever really have is our own stories, based upon our own experience and distinctions.
One of my great hopes for the future is the expansion of the interlinking communication networks, and the probability that comes with that – that increasing numbers of people will awaken themselves to the realities in which we find ourselves, and take actions that will be for the benefit of all – based upon their own assessments and choices.
Arohanui
Ted
Ted – the words that jumped out of your comment for me are, “Being responsible for the consequences of the act of communication.” If we all did that, what an incredibly powerful change there would be. Many of us “shoot and run” — and don’t stick around to see the ramshackle mess we’ve left behind.
It’s worth repeating: “Being responsible for the consequences of the act of communication.”
Thank you!
EVERYONE – Please go take a look at Ted’s blog post “YIPPEE” to read is beyone excellent update!