Friendship by Laurie Buchanan
A true friend is someone you’re transparent with because they accept you for who you are. They tell you the truth, even at the risk of hurting your feelings. Their influence is positive, uplifting, constructive, and healing. True friendship is something we actively maintain and invest ourselves in.
It is my perspective that a true friend is someone who encourages you to grow. They will not walk in front of you. They will not walk behind you. They will not carry you. They will, however, walk beside you. True friendship is all of these things returned.
“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
– Laurie Buchanan
www.HolEssence.com
Copyright © 2010 Laurie Buchanan — All Rights Reserved.
Tuesdays with Laurie 
Well said Laurie !!…and the image so appealing!! . Thank You for sharing…
I’m so glad you stopped by! I took a photo of the mourning doves because they’re in a tree. They’re common in our area, but usually seen on the ground. They look especially happy on the branch, all fluffed up from preening.
I will most wholeheartedly concur!
Barbara’s blog’s have had me opening my treasure chest of fully awakening once again. In that light the gems of Conversations with God Book 1 has been shinning brightly in my mind, so there for I have come to share this from what I believe is one of the most powerful chapters in the all the books, and language on and about relationships that I have heard sing to my heart, used as a guide, for myself as well as a message to others.
Friendship is truly an unconditional Love, a power that work usually better there then in “romantic” relationships.
So here are the word so God through Neale Donald Walsch. “You will never disservice your relationship-nor anyone-by seeing more in another than they are showing your. For there is more there. Much more. It is only their fear that stops them from showing you. If others notice that you see them as more, they will feel safe to show you what you obviously already see.” p.142. This to me is what happens in friendship we except them as they are, offer our selves to be who we are, allowing for safety and growth to comeforth through the old ideas and thoughts of self and others…
(this is longer then your blog)
Thank you for the opportunity to express myself!
I am Love, Jeff
Jeff – you’re right about Barbara’s blog — Eternal Presence — she always provides great food for thought! I’m glad that you shared the excerpt from “Conversations with God, Book 1.” Thank you.
I like looking for more of who people truly are, Jeff. And most people when they feel safe with someone are so willing to share themselves. It is such a gift when someone has graced me with the parts of them they have been hiding and afraid to show the world for fear of ridicule.
Perfect Laurie! 🙂
I’m glad you stopped by, Jeannie. I always appreciate your energy signature.
Good Morning Laurie,
I would be honored to be your friend and offer my friendship in return.
In truth the friendship you described is not an easy road. Not because I do not want to be friends but because it takes a lot of hard work to face a friendship with an open heart and honesty and pure love. Mostly imagine because I have a hard time giving myself the respect I deserve first and then the “unconditional love” Jeff spoke of.
So, I am optimistic that friendships can be made and hopefull that they will blossom into all you hope them to be.
I am more positive that we will grow together and encourage each other on all four fronts that I like to live on; spiritual, emotional, mental and physically.
So, yes I offer you a seed of friendship and trust we will nurture it and be true to it so it can grow.
~Jean
http://www.jeanhartartwork.com
Jean – The seed of friendship gladly accepted; thank you. Please give me a couple of minutes and then look in your regular email for a note from me.
“They will not walk in front of you. They will not walk behind you. They will not carry you. They will, however, walk beside you.”
I really like this. It sums friendship up so nicely.
Leanne – I’m glad you enjoyed the friendship summation. It’s also a word picture for how I life coach. Speaking of “like,” I really enjoyed your response to Terrill’s sprout question on Tuesday on Creative Potager when she asked, “What has been your latest personal discovery through your creativity?” You answered, “… I trust in my ability to transform the blank page into story …” I really appreciate your words. So much so, I’m using that statement as an affirmation.
Readers – For those of you who may not be familiar with Leanne, I’d like to take this opportunity to point you to her blog, Author Leanne Dyck’s Blog – writing on a small island.
Hi, Laurie — what wonderful guidelines in how to be a good friend. Friendship is a presence in a person’s life that is a treasure. I know I treasure the people I find here on your blog and who visit mine; I noticed that there are number of people I need to go visit and introduce myself, too!
Barbara – I’m glad you stopped by. I hope you will go on a visiting spree and introduce yourself. I’ve met so many nice people through reading other people’s blogs. I noticed that Sandi posted two new photographs in her Gaia Photo Album of the place where she is the Estate Gardener. Pretty darn snazzy!
When this is true –
“A true friend is someone you’re transparent with”
it is because your heart knows.
Thanks for simply stating what it is.
Deb
Hello Deb. I’m glad you stopped by this evening. I’m looking forward to our visit in June.
🙂
Friendships are found in the most interesting places, even a tree branch. Great Picture Laurie-very clear and a wonderful capture of the here and now.
Time, hard work, knowledge of each other, ability to walk along on the journey, and sharing ,common themes and interests.
I sometimes feel that I am somehow missing on something, as most of my friends have always been all over the country. The Internet certainly changed that and my ability to keep in touch, although I still miss the closeness of sharing, talking, dreaming, and being with a good friend. That ability to be transparent takes time, effort, humility, love, knowledge, caring, compassion, listening, laughter, tears, pain, and joy……
Many ::hugs:: for sharing.
Kim
Kim – How are you faring with our “perfect for a duck” weather? This millionth day in a row stuff is getting old. I’m ready for some warmth and sunshine! Did Mike enjoy his 50th birthday?
Hi Laurie
Wellllll—–I am freezing right now. Sitting here with a blanket and warm clothes. I think OREOZ has been searching for a few ducks, as he sits by the patio door looking out and salivating! All I saw was a Robin, which is his favorite.He is sleeping and taking his late afternoon nap right now, laying next to me.
Mike is delayed tonight and sitting in the Omaha airport, as the weather in Chicago is delaying flights elsewhere.
As for his birthday, I think he had a good day. I put information out of Facebook for friends to e-mail, call or send a card. Mike spent most of the day on the phone, what a bad wife I am, and being surprized every time he answered the phone. There were friends from church, his old neighberhood where he grew up, old girlfriends, and JR/SR high school classmates he had not talked to in decades.
He got a few more cards than he planned as well! I can’t wait for him to open the one today, from his girlfriend, the last one before me, a class mate; of ours!
His mom and Joe made him a chocolate cake- Miracle Whip Cake, his favorite. I think his favorite gifts were a
t-shirt with a golfer on it that had the saying “Weed Whacker” on it, and a OutBack gift certificate. Of course golfing, lawncare, and Outbacks are his favorite things to do.
I also sent him red roses at work, after all I have spent 33out of the fifty years with him! i also felt a little guilty that i did not have a formal party for him, as some do.
Take Care and have a warm evening. 🙂
Kim
Kim – It sounds like Mike’s birthday was delightful! I’m freezing my buns off too! It’s waaaaay too late in the year for a fire, so we’ve got the heater on (a rarity for us) and I’m in sweats and thermal socks, sitting in my chair with a blanket over the whole works. I’m going to watch a DVD from the library (my laptop ought to keep my legs warm). I think it’s a children’s movie — “The Last Mimzy” — but it looked good so I got it. Have a great evening!
You will enjoy The Last Mimzy…
I watched it again just a few days ago..
The Music is still stuck in my head..
Is there anybody out there?
Roger Waters is fav.
~lars
I absolutely loved this movie too.
Deb – I can’t remember what age your boys are. Did they see it too? If yes, did they enjoy it as well?
Beautiful blog, Laurie !
Having good friends and being a good friend to others is soo important in life.
Hello Elke! I would say good morning, but you for you — across the pond — it’s already afternoon. Have a GREAT day!
I feel like you are a true friend, Laurie. You are so present to people…we feel your shining presence so steadfast and encompassing. I feel honored to know you.
I feel the same way about you Kathy, that you’re a true friend and I’m honored to know you. Namaste’
Dear Laurie,
Thank you for your encouragement and support of my work. I’m thrilled to hear that you are using my words as an affirmation.
All the best
Leanne
Leanne – Thursdays are protected writing days for me. I launched my day with your words of affirmation, “I trust in my ability to transform the blank page into story” as I lit my candle to welcome original thoughts and creative ideas. It’s been a productive day — thank you!
“Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life.”
– “Pizza Place Sign”, (sent by Rory Bristol)
hee hee
I love the picture of the doves. And I LOVE when I hear them cooing…
This weekend I’m doing a Moroccan party making chicken bastilla. It’s typically made with pigeon. Funny I just read that a person should not try making it with American pigeons. Hmmm I wonder why not.
Laugh, learn and liven up your taste buds!
Beth
Now I best get packin’ for the party. I’m a put-it-offski most of the time unfortunately!
Interesting thought about a friend not carrying you, but simply being there–walking along. Good stuff and thanks for making me think.
Slamdunk – I’m glad for your visit this morning. You’re welcome for the “think” — your blog does the same for me. Have a great weekend.
Just thinking, that some day, in the not too distant future, some wag is going to put a teapot in orbit around Mars, but until that day happens, the analogy is a good one.
Ted – I think the word picture of a teapot orbiting around Mars to portray a “long shot” is a good one. What the heck is a “wag?”
I have been amazed at how many real friends have shown up with this latest operation for melanoma. I am a self declared athiest (more accurately a “teapot” agnostic), yet I have been prayed for our four local churches, have had the mayor and councilors call asking after me, and had contact from about 50 other people here in Kaikoura and around the world.
All a great example of what I believe, that most people are fundamentally concerned for the welfare of other people, it is just that sometimes, “stuff” gets in the way of the concern and caring, that “love”.
One of the great hopes of communication technology is that people world wide will realise that they are more alike than different, and as a result will be less inclined towards war, exploitation, and outright greed at the expense of others.
It is great for me to know that I have so many friends in so many different places around the planet.
Thank you all for being here.
Thank you for your commitment to humanity – whatever your belief structure.
Love to all.
Ted – I’m tickled pink to hear from you, and delighted that you’ve been embraced by an outpouring of love and well wish wishes from all over the globe (for readers who may not know, Ted lives in New Zealand). How do you actually feel? I know you had some lymps and muscles removed — are you in pain? How’s your range of motion? Are you sleeping well? Are you eating well? In other words, please tell me the who, what, when, where, why, and how of it.
Teapot agnostic — that’s a new one for me!
Hi Laurie,
I was opened up from just above my left ear, down to my right shoulder. Most of my left salivary gland, the chain of lymph nodes down the left side of neck, and the SCM muscle were removed. The doc (Stuart Sinclair) did a great job of stitching me up – looks very pretty.
Initially there was almost no feeling in any part of the left side of face or neck. As feeling has returned somewhat, so did the pain.
Right now I am getting phantom pains around my left ear, in the left jaw, and in my left shoulder. All sorts of mixed up things, from muscle pain, to hot feelings, to whistling noises. Just the sort of thing you would expect from the amount of nerve and muscle trauma sustained. The SCM muscle is aching, but I know it is not there.
I seem to have full motion, and I am under doctors orders not to create high blood pressure for two weeks form op – ie 6 days to go.
Did a 1 mile walk with Aila and the dogs yesterday – felt good. Did one mile in the hospital atrium at 8pm 24 hours after the operation last weekend (15 minutes fast paced walk in a figure 8 circuit) – the day after that the doc told me not to raise blood pressure, so I have kept the walks to slow pace since then.
The biggest hassle is the loss of the blink reflex in the left eye, which means I have to do it consciously. When I forget, the eye gets quite sore.
With a bit of luck this will correct itself soon.
I am looking forward to these pains going.
Last night I slept for about 7 hours solid – which is good for me. The longest unbroken sleep since the operation.
Must mean the pain levels are dropping. Haven’t been able to go more than 6 hours without a panadol prior to that.
Eating is interesting. I am trying to change to a raw food diet, but have got to the point that the smell of some raw foods make me wretch.
So I have backed off a little, and am doing raw for breakfast and lunch, and cooked for dinner. That seems to be working.
I have found that the apricot kernels taste awful, but that a little bit of honey hides the worst of their taste.
A teapot agnostic is, strictly speaking, I must admit the possibility of God, just as I must admit that it is possible that there is a teapot in orbit around mars, and both have about the same the probability in my world – very low – low enough to discount for all practical purposes; unless significant new evidence shows up.
Ted – You were practically split from stem to stern! Yowza. But the pain coming back is good (doesn’t feel good, but is good). Do you still have your left ear, or did they take that in the bargain?
I’ve been sitting here trying to blink “on purpose” — you’re right, it’s not easy to do it consistently.
Knowing you, your idea of “slow paced walks” may be somewhat different than the doctor’s idea…
Two raw meals and one cooked is a fantastic compromise — good for you! I’ve never had an apricot kernel in my life, and after your description, probably won’t.
All it’s gonna take is a little teapot orbiting around Mars? Well shucks, that oughta be easy …
Thank you for the detailed report Ted. It helps me know what kind of teapot to shop for (wink, wink).
Not right shoulder, left shoulder.
Ted – It’s still on HECK of an incision!
Yeah – it’s a good sized cut.
The ear is still there, though Stuart said he had to fold it out of the way while he took everything else out.
It is aching a bit at present, Nd I just noticed the time – almost 7 hours since I took a panadol.
I might see how long I can go without one. These pains are uncomfortable, but not exceptionally strong.
Ear is feeling like it is in a hot bath right now, whistling a little.
Jewelz has just gotten up, and Ailsa has just called to say she has made it to the top of Jacobs Ladder – so she is a happy girl, just having lunch with other members of the tramping club.
Ted – Were you able to go without the Panadol? In Googling “Jacob’s Ladder” I read that it’s an extremely steep set of stairs from Saint Mary’s Bay to Freeman’s Bay in Auckland, New Zealand. That makes me think of Terrill’s 81-steps she refers to as the stairway to heaven. Okay, now I’m in the mood for a hike!
Laurie I love your post about friendship. It fits so nicely into the conversation that my partner and I were having tonight. There are times when it is necessary to carry another for a short while until they can find there footing again. However, there is always this commitment in the carrying that each step is a step towards them walking on their own again. Which then, even in our hardest times, brings us right back to your powerful words:)
“However, there is always this commitment in the carrying that each step is a step towards them walking on their own again.”
Terrill – that’s the vital part, isn’t it? And you would definitely know — big time — with the experience that you and David have been through. My hat is off to you both. I’m glad you stopped by today, thank you.
I am grateful to know you as a friend, although we have never met in person. Your heart energy has been beaming into my life ever since we first met on Gaia. As Debb said above “a true friend is someone you are transparent with”. You have taught me to be transparent. Thank you!
Love and Laughter
Gil
Gil – I’m glad you stopped in today, friend. Thank you for the kind words. One of the key things you shared with me is when you said, “In my life I have found if you align your wants and needs, less becomes more.” That resonated to my “tippy toes” as our friend Kathy would say.