Whatever you are not changing you are choosing

"Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing." ~ Laurie Buchanan

Posts tagged ‘Whatever you are not changing you are choosing’

A Rose By Any Other Name

I love yard work! Not only do I find it therapeutic, I get a lot of head-writing done while pushing the mower.

I appreciate that the neighbors on each side of us work hard to keep weeds at bay. Last week there was a knock at the door. When I opened it, one of our neighbors said, “Please keep Willa and Lexi in for a while because I’ve sprayed for weeds on both sides of the chain link fence.”

Thanking her for her thoughtfulness, I stepped outside to see the weeds she was referring to. Wouldn’t you know it—they were the little purple flowers that I actually encourage to grow. I think they’re beautiful! I’m glad they’re still plentiful on the other side of the yard where they grow in profusion the full length of the privacy fence.

It’s been said that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” meaning that “beauty” depends on who’s doing the looking—the “beholder.”

What is your definition of beauty?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Category:

Environment, Nature

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I See You, See Me, See You

I enjoy taking photographs! Through the lens I’ve observed that when some people see me taking their photo, oftentimes a slight shift occurs—they may stand taller, suck in their tummy, smooth their hair, or tilt their head slightly to their “best” side.

When we see others observing us, sometimes a story starts writing itself in our head about what we think they think. Each person views life through their own experience-based lenses and filters. Sometimes their view lines up with ours. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Stephen Hopson is an inspirational speaker, author, and the world’s first deaf instrument-rated pilot. I admire his perspective: “What other people think of you is none of your business!”

What matters is what you see, what you think, and how you feel.

Are you held hostage by the opinion of others?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

Category:

Personal Growth

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Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Over the past few weeks I’ve had the opportunity for phone-intensive interaction with people—some I know, others I don’t. Regardless, at the end of each conversation I stop and reflect on the exchange of words, tone, and delivery style.

I find myself wondering once again, “What’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?”

When I was in the corporate world, I taught MAGIC—Make A Good Impression on the Client. One of the tips was to keep a mirror on your desk and smile into it when speaking on the phone.

With that in mind, I’ve taken my own advice and placed a mirror on my desk so that I smile on purpose and use words, tone, and a delivery style that I myself would welcome.

What kind of “magic” do you use?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

Category:

Life, Personal Growth

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Woody Woodpecker Heralds Spring

I’m out of my cast and into a weight-bearing air-boot—Whoohoo! Although I’m not allowed to drive in it (considered reckless endangerment in the state of Illinois), I now have the mobility to go outside and enjoy spring.

Sitting on the front porch basking in the early morning sunshine, I hear the distinct rat-a-tat-tat of a woodpecker. With still-bare branches, I easily spot the wily redhead as he pecks away with joyful abandon to find his wood-dwelling breakfast.

When I was a kid, Saturday mornings were cartoon-laden with the likes of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and my favorite, Woody Woodpecker. Please join me for a
30-second stroll down memory lane.

Rat-a-tat-tat! Rat-a-tat-tat! Spring is the harbinger of new things.

What opportunity is knocking at your door?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

Category:

Humor, Life

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Brain Food You Don’t Eat

Our neighbor across the street drives a school bus. Each weekday morning we hear a deep rumble as she starts the bus engine, rev’s it up, and then goes back inside to enjoy a cup of coffee while it idles to warm. Her route consists of elementary aged children she transports to and from school so they can learn reading, writing, arithmetic, and numerous social skills.

I would venture to guess that most of the people reading my blog no longer ride a school bus, but we do continue to learn. Whether it’s for our job, a hobby we enjoy, or out of necessity like troubleshooting an issue on our computer or mobil device, the lifelong practice of learning benefits us in so many ways—it broadens our horizons and makes us much more interesting to be around.

Several years ago Len and I attended the Center of Deafness in Northbrook, Illinois where we learned American Sign Language (ASL). We soon discovered, “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” Since my right leg has been in a cast, I’ve refreshed my knowledge of the alphabet and I’m re-learning a new word each day.

What’s your most recent learning?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book — Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience — Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

Category:

Personal Growth

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The Science of Happiness

Strategically placed among the recessed lighting in our living room ceiling, is an adjustable “fisheye” that rotates so we can highlight the stained glass in our front door. When people drive or walk down our street in the evening, they can’t help but look at it—to focus on it.

“That’s been one of my mantras—focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex. You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” — Steve Jobs

In our everyday lives we have multiple opportunities to focus. We can shine our mind’s spotlight on the positive, or on the negative. Like the “fisheye” — it’s an adjustable choice.

Dr. Richard Davidson, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at UW-Madison, scanned the brains of happy people and found they were unusually active in one area—the left prefrontal cortex. Now he and other researchers in the field are learning more about how we can take advantage of our brain’s “plasticity”—its ability to reshape itself—and rewire our own brains to be happier.

“We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what’s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what’s right.” — Marianne Williamson

Last week I become part of a beta group that’s testing the science of happiness and positive psychology. I just completed part one of the first track. Each day I participate in brief, online “happiness skill builders” specifically designed to promote positive emotional qualities such as gratitude, kindness, mindfulness, and compassion.

Where do you place your focus?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience— Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

Category:

Health and Wellness, Life, Personal Growth

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Housekeeping — The Kind that Matters

Last week, at her request, I called a potential new client. Questions in hand, I was ready to see if we would mesh in a coaching relationship. Within minutes I discovered that this woman has a short—very short—time to live. The coaching experience I offer is typically nine months in length, so where did I fit in?

Beyond humbling, she shared with me that knowing in advance her approximate date of death has been a tremendous blessing in that she’s completely prepared—except for one thing. Taped to a framed photograph on her nightstand is a clipping from a long-ago magazine article I wrote:

Like the path we walk, giving and receiving forgiveness is a fundamental part of life’s journey. Reminiscent of falling leaves, offenses may scatter the pathway of our heart—the seat of our outlook. This attitude determines the terrain of our path and forgiveness keeps the pathway clear.

It is my perspective that the place to start—the place to launch joy, hope, positive aspirations, and healing begins with forgiveness. Until that bit of housekeeping has been taken care of, everything else is futile.

Since that initial call we’ve had two more conversations. Neither one of us is charging a fee, but you can well imagine that I’m receiving much more than she is. I’m learning how to die.

Do you need to give or receive forgiveness, or are you all set?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience— Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

Category:

Inspiration, Life, Personal Growth, Spiritual Awareness

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What’s the Point?

Last week the weather in our neck of the woods dipped well below zero, and much like strutting peacocks who flaunt their dazzling feathers, the homes in our neighborhood boasted glistening icicles; the perfect visual for this week’s post, “What’s the point?”

As a transformational life coach, this—by far—is the question I get asked the most.

“The purpose of life is life of purpose.” — Robert Byrne

I’ll be the first to say that I’m not the be all, end all. That said…

I believe that each of us has an individual and specific reason for being here. Being conscious of that reason provides us with the most basic and concrete thing we can know about ourself.

Many people believe that we find our purpose. I don’t.
It’s my perspective that we determine it.

By intent, I determined to be a mindful agent of heart-based change — body, mind, and spirit.

Have you determined your purpose?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves Life Harmony

Category:

Inspiration, Life, Spiritual Awareness

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The Power of a Single Word

Although I’m not a resolution maker, each New Year’s Eve I select a single word to focus on in the upcoming year. In 2013 it’s peace and all of its derivatives.

An enthusiastic proponent of affirmations, and an avid believer in Ghandi’s be the change, this year’s focus word and positive statements concentrate on each aspect of my being — body, mind, and spirit — and how I choose to be in the world:

I have a peaceful, healthy body.
I have a peaceful, creative mind.
I have a peaceful, joy-filled spirit.

Some people write their word of choice and place it on a computer screen, car dashboard, refrigerator door, or other prominent place as a convenient reminder.

Somewhat like a modified rosary or mala beads, I wear a necklace with three small clear quartz drops — one for each peaceful affirmation.

“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” — Buddha

Do you have a focus word this year?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves Life Harmony

Category:

Inspiration, Personal Growth

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Buddhism and Smartphones

I appreciate modern technology; it’s conducive to what I do for a living, enabling me to meet with clients all over the globe via phone, FaceTime, and Skype.

My smartphone allows me to do several things at once if I want. I don’t.

I love that it’s intelligent enough to also accommodate the Buddhist philosophy of doing one thing at a time: talk on the phone, take a photograph or video, make a recording, send a text, listen to music, transfer money to/from my bank, check in at the airport, even read a book or watch a movie.

I appreciate the vivid artwork on my smartphone’s protective cover — it makes me smile every time I see it.

I also appreciate the Zen Temple Bell ringtone that Len purchased for me. It doesn’t startle. Rather, it’s a single, soft, low tone — a gentle reminder to ask myself, “What’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?” before I pick up.

I’m not a Zen monk, but I enjoy being present in everything I do. Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my favorite Zen monks said, “Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” Like single-tasking, that works well with my lifestyle.

“When walking, walk. When eating, eat.” — Zen proverb

By the way, the sassy digital assistant associated with my smartphone recently suggested that I change the spelling of my name from Laurie to Lori, informing me that the latter version is much more popular! No thanks, I’m good.

Do you find that modern technology improves or hinders your lifestyle?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves Life Harmony

Category:

Buddhism, Life, Spiritual Awareness, Technology

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Speaking from the Heart