Personal Growth | Speaking from the Heart

"Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing." ~ Laurie Buchanan

Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

I See You, See Me, See You

I enjoy taking photographs! Through the lens I’ve observed that when some people see me taking their photo, oftentimes a slight shift occurs—they may stand taller, suck in their tummy, smooth their hair, or tilt their head slightly to their “best” side.

When we see others observing us, sometimes a story starts writing itself in our head about what we think they think. Each person views life through their own experience-based lenses and filters. Sometimes their view lines up with ours. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Stephen Hopson is an inspirational speaker, author, and the world’s first deaf instrument-rated pilot. I admire his perspective: “What other people think of you is none of your business!”

What matters is what you see, what you think, and how you feel.

Are you held hostage by the opinion of others?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Personal Growth

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Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Over the past few weeks I’ve had the opportunity for phone-intensive interaction with people—some I know, others I don’t. Regardless, at the end of each conversation I stop and reflect on the exchange of words, tone, and delivery style.

I find myself wondering once again, “What’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?”

When I was in the corporate world, I taught MAGIC—Make A Good Impression on the Client. One of the tips was to keep a mirror on your desk and smile into it when speaking on the phone.

With that in mind, I’ve taken my own advice and placed a mirror on my desk so that I smile on purpose and use words, tone, and a delivery style that I myself would welcome.

What kind of “magic” do you use?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Life, Personal Growth

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Brain Food You Don’t Eat

Our neighbor across the street drives a school bus. Each weekday morning we hear a deep rumble as she starts the bus engine, rev’s it up, and then goes back inside to enjoy a cup of coffee while it idles to warm. Her route consists of elementary aged children she transports to and from school so they can learn reading, writing, arithmetic, and numerous social skills.

I would venture to guess that most of the people reading my blog no longer ride a school bus, but we do continue to learn. Whether it’s for our job, a hobby we enjoy, or out of necessity like troubleshooting an issue on our computer or mobil device, the lifelong practice of learning benefits us in so many ways—it broadens our horizons and makes us much more interesting to be around.

Several years ago Len and I attended the Center of Deafness in Northbrook, Illinois where we learned American Sign Language (ASL). We soon discovered, “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” Since my right leg has been in a cast, I’ve refreshed my knowledge of the alphabet and I’m re-learning a new word each day.

What’s your most recent learning?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book — Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience — Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Personal Growth

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A Visual Escape

Recently I blogged about the Science of Happiness Project that I’m participating in. I received an email from one of the coordinators that said, “Remember that happiness isn’t simply determined by your genes, nor by what’s happening in your life — 40% of it is actually in your control.”

As a participant I receive activities, quizzes, and games each day with the idea of building and strengthening happiness habits.

Do you remember the Highlights for Children magazine from when you were a kid? My favorite thing was finding pictures within a picture! Researchers have found that one way to build up and boost our mood is to engage in techniques that distract us from worry and help us avoid over-thinking.

Below is a scene I received with the instruction: “Find the following six objects hidden in the scene. Take you time and enjoy looking around to find them all: pinecone, pigeon, hare, dandelion, wrong house number, and fish.”

In your life, what’s hiding in plain view?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience— Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Health and Wellness, Personal Growth

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The Science of Happiness

Strategically placed among the recessed lighting in our living room ceiling, is an adjustable “fisheye” that rotates so we can highlight the stained glass in our front door. When people drive or walk down our street in the evening, they can’t help but look at it—to focus on it.

“That’s been one of my mantras—focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex. You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” — Steve Jobs

In our everyday lives we have multiple opportunities to focus. We can shine our mind’s spotlight on the positive, or on the negative. Like the “fisheye” — it’s an adjustable choice.

Dr. Richard Davidson, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at UW-Madison, scanned the brains of happy people and found they were unusually active in one area—the left prefrontal cortex. Now he and other researchers in the field are learning more about how we can take advantage of our brain’s “plasticity”—its ability to reshape itself—and rewire our own brains to be happier.

“We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what’s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what’s right.” — Marianne Williamson

Last week I become part of a beta group that’s testing the science of happiness and positive psychology. I just completed part one of the first track. Each day I participate in brief, online “happiness skill builders” specifically designed to promote positive emotional qualities such as gratitude, kindness, mindfulness, and compassion.

Where do you place your focus?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience— Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Personal Growth, Health and Wellness, Life

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Housekeeping — The Kind that Matters

Last week, at her request, I called a potential new client. Questions in hand, I was ready to see if we would mesh in a coaching relationship. Within minutes I discovered that this woman has a short—very short—time to live. The coaching experience I offer is typically nine months in length, so where did I fit in?

Beyond humbling, she shared with me that knowing in advance her approximate date of death has been a tremendous blessing in that she’s completely prepared—except for one thing. Taped to a framed photograph on her nightstand is a clipping from a long-ago magazine article I wrote:

Like the path we walk, giving and receiving forgiveness is a fundamental part of life’s journey. Reminiscent of falling leaves, offenses may scatter the pathway of our heart—the seat of our outlook. This attitude determines the terrain of our path and forgiveness keeps the pathway clear.

It is my perspective that the place to start—the place to launch joy, hope, positive aspirations, and healing begins with forgiveness. Until that bit of housekeeping has been taken care of, everything else is futile.

Since that initial call we’ve had two more conversations. Neither one of us is charging a fee, but you can well imagine that I’m receiving much more than she is. I’m learning how to die.

Do you need to give or receive forgiveness, or are you all set?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience— Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Spiritual Awareness, Personal Growth, Life, Inspiration

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Box Schmox!

Meet the Box
You’re familiar with the term, “Think outside the box.” The box refers to conventional understanding or traditional thinking. In the business world, this might include organizational constraints. Regardless, the box is typically a comfort zone.

Meet its Residents
There’s a tendency for those who think (or live) inside the box to ignore things that don’t fit into its confines. In-the-box thinking (or living) typically stems from a need to control anxiety—trepidation that occurs when something doesn’t fit in the box.

“Instead of thinking outside of the box, get rid of the box.” — Deepak Chopra

Beyond the Box
There’s nothing wrong with conventional wisdom as long as it’s not stale or limiting. But exploration—which requires leaving the box, or at least opening the flaps—leads to the discovery of original thoughts, creative ideas, and innovation.

When was the last time you rendezvoused, flirted, or hung out with inspiration?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Life, Personal Growth

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There’s a Price for Extra Baggage

When I write an article or work on a manuscript, I back it up on a USB thumb drive — a tiny data storage device. The clear housing allows me to see the inner-workings. To me it looks like an aerial view of a micro-sized warehouse with a maze of corridors, each one leading to a compartment that holds data, music, pictures, video, or software.

Some Things are Definitely Worth Remembering
The information I put on my thumb drive is important enough to me that I transport it on a lanyard, much like a referee wears a whistle. I carry it with me for safekeeping until I have the opportunity to make a positive contribution — submit it for publication.

Some Things are Best Forgotten
Many of us carry memories with us that don’t contribute to our wellbeing. In fact they’re debilitating. Unlike a tiny thumb drive, they take up a vast amount of space in containers known as baggage — emotional baggage. And while we can’t actually see them, we definitely feel their weight. And the longer we carry them, the heavier they get.

“Let go or be dragged.” — Zen proverb

Some people overpack for trips. Are you overpacked for life?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves Life Harmony

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Personal Growth, Inspiration

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The Power of a Single Word

Although I’m not a resolution maker, each New Year’s Eve I select a single word to focus on in the upcoming year. In 2013 it’s peace and all of its derivatives.

An enthusiastic proponent of affirmations, and an avid believer in Ghandi’s be the change, this year’s focus word and positive statements concentrate on each aspect of my being — body, mind, and spirit — and how I choose to be in the world:

I have a peaceful, healthy body.
I have a peaceful, creative mind.
I have a peaceful, joy-filled spirit.

Some people write their word of choice and place it on a computer screen, car dashboard, refrigerator door, or other prominent place as a convenient reminder.

Somewhat like a modified rosary or mala beads, I wear a necklace with three small clear quartz drops — one for each peaceful affirmation.

“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” — Buddha

Do you have a focus word this year?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves Life Harmony

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Inspiration, Personal Growth

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When Women Gather on the Rim

During my trip to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, we gathered on a rooftop and got down to business. “We” — a diverse group of women from as far north as Canada, as far south as Australia, and many geographic locations in-between. Within our sacred circle each voice was heard and celebrated for the wisdom it carried.

Whether we connect in person or virtually online, when women gather on the rim — in sacred circles — we birth energetic patterns that change the way we think, the way we work, and the way we experience community.

With a mindset of unleashed, unlimited, potential and possibility, when women gather on the rim we tear down geographic boundaries and break through the seeming limitations of culture, socio-economics, religion, age, language, academics, politics, and diverse interests.

A form of sacred geometry, the circle is an ancient universal symbol that signifies no beginning and no end. When women gather on the rim we share experience, strength, and hope; we share recovery, discovery, and empowerment.

As peacekeepers and healers, the sisterhood of women transcends space and time. When women gather on the rim we form a sacred container for women’s wisdom; we collaborate and co-create visions; we change history by creating a roadmap for tomorrow.

“The answers we seek lie within the inner most circle — the sacred circles of women.” — Grandmother Threecrow

When was the last time you gathered on the rim?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves Life Harmony Facebook

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Inspiration, Personal Growth, Spiritual Awareness

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Speaking from the Heart

"Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing." ~ Laurie Buchanan

Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

I See You, See Me, See You

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

A Visual Escape

The Science of Happiness

Housekeeping — The Kind that Matters

Box Schmox!

There’s a Price for Extra Baggage

The Power of a Single Word

When Women Gather on the Rim

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