"Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing." ~ Laurie Buchanan

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Woody Woodpecker Heralds Spring

I’m out of my cast and into a weight-bearing air-boot—Whoohoo! Although I’m not allowed to drive in it (considered reckless endangerment in the state of Illinois), I now have the mobility to go outside and enjoy spring.

Sitting on the front porch basking in the early morning sunshine, I hear the distinct rat-a-tat-tat of a woodpecker. With still-bare branches, I easily spot the wily redhead as he pecks away with joyful abandon to find his wood-dwelling breakfast.

When I was a kid, Saturday mornings were cartoon-laden with the likes of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and my favorite, Woody Woodpecker. Please join me for a
30-second stroll down memory lane.

Rat-a-tat-tat! Rat-a-tat-tat! Spring is the harbinger of new things.

What opportunity is knocking at your door?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience—Life Harmony

© 2013 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Humor, Life

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When You’ve Got an Itch…

You’ve heard of the seven year itch, jock itch, swimmer’s itch, and even contagious itch.

Due to a slip on the ice, I’m currently sporting a cast on my right leg. When the doctor finished patting down the last of the wet, fiberglass casting tape, he assured me that it would get rock hard, but due to the nature of the break — a spiral fracture — he added, “Don’t walk on it — no weight, whatsoever.”

He additionally cautioned me to not climb trees, ride my bike, swim, or use the cast as a weapon. And went on to say, “If you have an itch, just knock on the cast and the vibration will take care of it.” Liar!

He concluded, “Do not, under any circumstances, use a hanger or other sharp object to scratch an itch.” Easy for you to say!

I’m confident that somewhere in the dusty annuls of history there’s a long forgotten Confucian quote: “When casted leg itch, chopstick come in handy!”

Much to my immense relief, I’ve been enjoying his Zen wisdom.

What are you just itching to get at?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

The Book—Discovering the Seven Selves
The Experience— Life Harmony

© 2013 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved

Find me on Twitter @HolEssence

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Health and Wellness, Humor, Life

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Vastly Different from being Freshly Pressed

In the twenty years we’ve lived in our home, we’ve never had air conditioning. Instead, we open all of the windows, strategically place fans throughout the house, and use heavy antique irons to keep the doors from slamming shut.

Vastly different from being Freshly Pressed, “Ironing wrinkles out of the fabric” is a phrase I use to convey straightening, or smoothing out a situation.

At day’s end Len may ask, “What did you do today?” If I respond, “I ironed wrinkles out of fabric” he knows full well I spent no time at the ironing board.

Instead, I may have defused an argument, helped someone down-shift accelerated emotions, or assisted a student in their quest for obtaining scholarship funds.

When was the last time you ironed wrinkles out of fabric?

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves     Life Harmony

© 2013 Laurie Buchanan – All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Musings

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Quiche Me Quick!

Len…I said QUICHE me quick!

At Under Southern Skies, my friend Sandi periodically writes about The Chicken Ladies. As the keeper of several beautiful laying hens, she shares her bounty of fresh eggs with kith and kin, but every now and then ends up with more eggs than she can use in one fell swoop. With that in mind, I recently shared my mom’s Crustless Quiche recipe with her, and thought you might enjoy it as well:

- Bake these in advance and freeze; they thaw out beautifully.
- Fantastic for breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner.
- Perfect for gatherings: baby showers, bridge, bunco, or pot luck functions.

Crustless Quiche with Spinach

CRUSTLESS QUICHE
1/2 cup flour
10 eggs – beat until lemon colored
10oz. carton of cottage cheese (or a bit more if you can’t find that size)
16 oz. package of shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup melted butter

Optional—to make it more of a garden quiche, we often add spinach, green onion, green chilies, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, or garlic. Some people add a bit of bacon, ham, or crab.

Mix all of the ingredients together and pour into two large round glass pie or quiche pans that have been treated with a non-stick cooking spray. Bake at 350-degrees for 45 minutes to 1 hour — keep checking for “doneness” with a knife during the last 15 minutes. When it comes out clean, they’re done. Let stand 5 to 10 minutes before serving—enjoy!

Who was the last person you quiched?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves     Life Harmony     Facebook

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

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Humor, Life

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Daylight’s Burnin’!

This week I celebrate Double Nickels — my 55th birthday.

In reaching this milestone it seems reasonable to suggest that I’ve got more time behind me than I do in front of me. In fact, daily I can hear John Wayne’s voice, “Slap some bacon on a biscuit and let’s go, we’re burning daylight!”

And while the package I reside in has changed considerably over the years, I still feel the same on the inside—bright and sassy!

How do you feel on the inside?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves     Life Harmony     Facebook

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Life, Musings

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Mind Your Own Business

Do you remember Gladys Kravitz—the nosey neighbor who lived next door to Samantha and Darrin Stephens—on the television show Bewitched? She was always curious about what other people were up to:

Samantha Stephens: Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz. What a surprise (not!).
Gladys Kravitz: I came over for a snoop of, uh, a scoop of sugar. I hope I’m not disturbing you.

Our dog Willa—aka Mrs. Kravitz—is a snoop in the first degree. When our neighbors are in their back yard, she peeks through the fence!

Willa would do well to heed Hank Williams’ song, Mind Your Own Business!

I have more than a dash and a dollop of curiosity. When I was a young girl, my hero was Harriet the Spy.

Have you ever stuck your nose where it didn’t belong?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Discovering the Seven Selves     Life Harmony     Facebook

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Life, Musings

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The Art of Sharing

Growing up, when we asked mom for a piece of gum—typically Juicy Fruit or Wrigley’s Spearmint—she usually said yes on the condition that my sister and I would share a piece. The one who did not break the stick in half was the one who got to select the half she wanted—first. That insured that the one who did the breaking, did it as evenly as possible!

On a recent drive to check out an airport for glider planes, Len and I took Lexi and Willa along for the ride. Whiskered faces caught G-force out the partially-open windows as ears flapped blissfully in the breeze. The girls we’re having an enjoyable afternoon.

Until we pulled into their version of heaven on earth—Culver’s. Then tails started whipping in ecstasy as they shifted into unbridled glee! For them, there’s nothing more exciting than sharing a kiddie dish of vanilla ice cream.

What’s the last thing you shared with a friend?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Please visit HolEssence and our Facebook page.

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Life, Musings

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I Live with a Potty Mouth

It’s been said that foul language is the mark of a limited vocabulary and a poor imagination. A person who can’t hold a decent conversation without the use of expletives is oftentimes referred to as a potty mouth.

Well this takes that concept to a whole new level…

And you thought it was going to be a photograph of rough-and-tumble Willa. But no, it’s the prima donna herself, Miss Lexi—sheesh!

Certainly not perfect, I can remember having my mouth washed out with soap on a few childhood occasions. And I can still hear my mother’s wise advice: Make your words sweet and tender today, for tomorrow you may have to eat them.

Have you ever had your mouth washed out?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Please visit HolEssence and our Facebook page

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Life

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Spring – Kind of like the Witness Protection Program

One of my favorite parts of spring is seeing all the new life. Buds on trees, green grass poking out of the ground, flowers starting to sprout…

Somewhat like the Witness Protection Program, spring heralds a new beginning—a clean slate. My teenaged clients would call it a “do over.”

A week ago I sent an email to my friend Sandi in Georgia and told her that two doors down the swelling dogwood buds on my neighbor’s tree looked like a cotton ball explosion!

Unbelievably, two short days later, I wrote her that the buds were in full bloom. This process—bud to bloom—normally takes a lot more time, but we’ve been experiencing temperatures that are 20-30 degrees above normal. In fact, they’ve been record-breaking for this time of year.

In the Witness Protection Program a person is relocated to a different geographic location and provided with a brand spanking new identity, including social security number, house, car, and job.

If you could step into a brand new career—no questions asked—what would it be?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Please visit HolEssence and our Facebook page

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Nature

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Short Story/Flash Fiction Challenge

I think I’ve lived up to the challenge Rachel gave Writer’s Platform—Building Campaigners. The rules are:

Write a short story or flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall.” These five words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: “everything faded.” (also included in the word count)
  • include the word “orange” in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

And you all thought I was kidding when I told you I had aspirations of being a magician, an international spy, or a mad scientist. Here’s the story as told by my 10-year-old self…

Shadows crept across the wall of the garage, dance-like, as the orange flames licked up the curtained window. “Oh crap, I’m in so much trouble!” I shouted grabbing the fabric, to yank it from the rod and stomp the flames out on the cement floor.

“It would have been so much smarter to stick with a stink bomb,” I scolded myself. “There’s never been a hitch with a putrified egg stored in a Nestle Quick box; at least nothing more than an assaulted sense of smell when the hydrogen sulfide stink invades the air.”

Ignoring the “parental supervision” suggestion, I decided to make this year’s science fair volcano on my own. I’d worked with vinegar and baking soda in the past, but this year I wanted a ribbon—a blue ribbon.

Having made a test-run volcano from paper mache, I decided to use yeast combined with hydrogen peroxide for a larger explosion. Pleased, but not completely satisfied, I added the element of fire. “Yowza!” I thought as I smelled my past-tense eyebrows!

While stomping the flames in my new Keds, I heard the wail of sirens coming up the street, and then overcome with smoke, everything faded.

———————————————————————————————

Check out Rachel’s site here, where there’s a list of other participants and their stories. It’s fun to see how everyone has a different take on those first five words—Shadows crept across the wall—take mywithershins for instance…

What was your favorite science fair project?

Listen with your heart,

Laurie Buchanan

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.”
— Laurie Buchanan

Please visit HolEssence and our Facebook page

© 2012 Laurie Buchanan– All Rights Reserved

Category:

Humor, Writing

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